


Silent Unspeakable Memories

by kirasha, Titti



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Big Bang Challenge, Challenge Response, Implied Mpreg, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-07
Updated: 2014-11-07
Packaged: 2018-02-24 12:44:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 33,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2581859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirasha/pseuds/kirasha, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titti/pseuds/Titti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Bucky gets his memories back, they think that they can move forward into the future, but they soon discover that Zola has done more than replace an arm. While trying to find the children created by Zola's experiments, Bucky and Steve discover that their relationship runs deeper than they had ever admitted before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silent Unspeakable Memories

**Author's Note:**

> **Warnings:** medical experimentation, forced pregnancy, past MPREG, past miscarriages.  
>  1 The science used in this fic is at its experimental stages. Several medical teams around the world are experimenting with artificial wombs, opening up to the possibility of male pregnancies and out-of-body pregnancies. In 2013, scientists in Japan have been able to keep a viable goat fetus for three week in an out-of-body uterus and are working to increase the time to extend it to humans.  
> 2\. Title originates from a quote by George Eliot: _What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life -- to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories._  
>  3\. Written for the 2014 .  
> 4\. Accompanying fanart by ballvvasher can be found [here](http://ballvvasher.tumblr.com/post/101975237329/art-for-kirasha-and-tittis-steve-bucky-big)

Ninety years since Steve Rogers had met Bucky Barnes. One year since he'd seen the best friend he'd thought dead on that bridge in D.C.. Six months since they had found each other again after the dust settled. Three months since Bucky had agreed to move in with Steve, in what was now known as the Avengers Tower. A lifetime together and he'd never seen Bucky sick.

Until his cybernetic arm started to malfunction.

It started on a lazy Sunday morning.

"Hey, Steve? Can you come in here a minute?" Bucky's voice, when it called out, was calm. More than could be said about the man himself, standing shirtless in front of the bathroom mirror with his left hand hovering over the faucet he'd just turned off while returning his toothbrush to its cup. For once, the fact his left arm was made completely out of metal was _not_ the unusual point.

No, the unusual point had been that he couldn't lower that metallic arm.

He'd noticed occasional glitches in the year since he'd escaped the control of the scientists who'd given him the arm and sent him off to be their great assassin. Every now and then, the arm would be slower to react than it should be. Not often. Every few weeks or so. But, considering up until a year earlier he'd been kept primarily in cryogenic suspension and only let out for a few days at a time when he was needed to kill someone, he just assumed it was a normal part of the arm's function and he hadn't noticed because he'd been frozen. It had been happening more frequently the previous couple of months. But, this was the first time it simply stopped working.

When he saw Steve's reflection join his in the mirror, he turned around. "Think we might have a problem." With a sudden jerk, like a mechanical muscle spasm, his arm finally had relaxed so he could lower it. "Maybe."

"We're going to see Tony." Steve thought that would be the end of it, but unfortunately it took a lot of talking and a few weeks, before he convinced his best friend to let Tony and Bruce look at the arm. It hadn't been easy, because while Bucky had reluctantly agreed to live at the tower with all of the other avengers, he didn't trusted Tony or Bruce to poke around in his head or in his arm. Steve understood the reasons, but he also knew that they had no choice, which brought on the discussions that finally led to meeting the two scientists.

There had been meetings, discussions, arguments about the new model. Tony had walked around like a child in Santa's workshop, thinking of ways to improve the arm, while Bucky had glared and scowled. But, in the end they'd agreed on a final model. Everything was ready for the surgery when Steve finally agreed -- and convinced Bucky to agree -- that Tony could run a full physical to make sure that Bucky was ready.

"JARVIS, run a full scan on Barnes," Tony said.

The medical lab looked a lot like Tony's lab with lots of machines and screens. There was a table in the middle and Bucky was currently sitting on it. Steve moved to the side, but always within the line of sight. Bucky had been a terrible patient before the war and his sometimes still erratic nature after shaking the brainwashing Hydra had subjected him to for decades did not improve upon that disposition now. Steve's visible presence was necessary to keep him grounded in the present and prevent a flashback that could result in any of them getting injured.

Steve watched as Bruce and Tony looked at whatever the AI was showing them. He could see the frowning lines and strange looks. With Bucky's health on the line, he lost patience pretty quickly. "JARVIS, what's taking so long?" he asked as he stepped closer to Bucky.

"There seems to be a malfunction in my programming. I'm running a self-diagnostic test, before doing another scan of Sergeant Barnes," JARVIS said.

Steve did not like the sound of that, and he especially didn't like the look on the two scientists' faces. Any time there was a malfunction, they were dealing with something alien, magical, or possibly both. "JARVIS, what was the result the first time?"

"I found no viruses or bacteria, but there seems to be something unusual about Sergeant Barnes' physiology. He has a uterus."

"Excuse me?" Bucky choked out.

Steve blinked at the announcement. "Are you still running your self-diagnostic test?"

"That is correct, Captain."

Steve watched as Tony and Bruce looked at each other. He had seen them exchanging those looks before and it was never good news, especially after they were running tests for too long. In the past he'd seen Tony talk to JARVIS for a few minutes and get complete medical reports. This was something else. "There's no glitch, is there?"

"We're trying to be certain of everything," Bruce said.

"There's no glitch," Tony confirmed. "A sonogram image shows that JARVIS is correct."

"How is that even possible?" Bucky's jaw was clenched, the muscle working overtime as he clearly tried to keep control of his reactions. It was bad enough to have to rely on people he hardly knew, to have them moving around him, comparing notes in silent exchanges. But, he drew the line at talking to Steve about him as if he wasn't there. "In case it's escaped everybody's notice, I'm right here and obviously not a woman. So someone tell me what the hell is going on?"

Tony sighed. "We can't be 100% certain. We are guessing from what we can see and this is why JARVIS is running diagnostic tests to make sure we have correct information."

Steve crossed his arms and stared at Tony. "You're stalling." It was never a good sign when Tony stalled. Tony was brash, loud, and spoke a million words a minute. When he was being reticent, something big was going down.

"We're being thorough," Bruce answered.

"It looks like they experimented on him in other ways," Tony started, before turning to Bucky. "You have a uterus. There are experiments currently happening at different labs that would allow doctors to create artificial wombs, using female uterine cells grown on biodegradable structures. The goal is to implant them in men so they can carry a baby to term. We have the science, but it looks like someone had the science before. Look at your arm, it should have never been possible in 1945 Russia and yet you have it. This is the same."

"We can't tell when it was implanted," Bruce said. "But we can make a few deductions from what we've found."

"Like the fact that you've been pregnant in the past," Tony continued.

"You think that he carried a child before, why?" Steve asked.

"You know, if you'd let us run comprehensive tests on both of you, we might have noticed before. But you wanted to know about medical problems and there were none. No other tests, make sure he's healthy. That's what you said and that's what we did, but those tests didn't tell us that organs have been shifted around, a uterus has been implanted-"

"Tony, focus," Steve said, trying not to lose his patience. "Why do you think he carried a child before? And in English," he added.

"The tissue of the uterus shows signs of previous pregnancies," Tony answered. "With his healing, there wouldn't be any sign of C Section, so we never picked that up, and once again, taking into consideration his healing, it was more than one pregnancy."

"How many?" Steve asked, jaw tight with tension.

Bruce shook his head. "We can't know, but we know the scarring is indicative of multiple pregnancies."

"Estimate!"

"Giving us orders?" Tony asked with raised eyebrows, before sighing again. "Plenty. Possibly over two dozen."

Despite his earlier outburst, hearing the truth of the situation stunned Bucky into silence. "Pregnant." He repeated the word absently to himself. It definitely didn't feel real. He was a _man_. Men did not carry children. It was wrong and...unnatural.

But, if Stark and Banner were right...

Hydra.

Zola.

When he'd been working on remembering who he was, trying to shake seventy years of brainwashing that had left him with no true knowledge of himself, Bucky had read something about long term memories often being the ones that came back first in cases of amnesia and other forms of memory loss. It had meant his earliest memories of growing up with Steve were naturally the ones most deeply imprinted upon his mind. They were some of the first to come back, helped along by Steve himself.

Unfortunately, it had also meant that he remembered more of the earlier 'treatments' at Zola's hand than a lot of his later missions under Pierce. Both of his former masters had left their mark on him. But, there was more terror in the earlier memories. He'd put up more of a fight back then. And, Zola was more nightmarish than Secretary Alexander Pierce, with his good intentions gone horribly wrong, could ever be.

Arnim Zola had not just been the leader of a terrorist organization, however. He'd also been a brilliant, if utterly evil, scientist. And Bucky had been his unwilling volunteer twice: first, during the war when he was captured at Azzano, and second, after he was presumed dead and became a tool for Hydra. He'd created the variant of the super soldier serum that had kept Bucky alive after falling from a train down a ravine. He'd created the arm Stark so casually pointed out now. He'd created the Winter Soldier from the pieces left of Bucky after all of that.

And, apparently, he'd turned Bucky into even more of an abomination than he'd ever thought.

"Multiple pregnancies, but you can't tell the number of actual births," he summarized quietly. "So, what happened to them? If I was..." He swallowed hard, unable to say the words _I was pregnant_. "What are the chances any survived?"

The compassion on Bruce's face was a clear reminder of why he had chosen to work with the less fortunate. "We're talking about the 50s, 60s. Even today, science is talking about possibilities for the future. They would have had to find the right dosage for hormones and estrogen, and with your changed physiology, there would have been no way to know exactly what you needed."

"How about a straight answer for once?" Steve pressed.

Tony rolled his eyes. "You want us to give you facts, Cap, and we don't have them. We can guess, but as good as we are, they are still guesses."

"Fine, give us guesses," Steve answered.

"Guesses would be that there would have been a few eggs that never attached. Of those that did, there would have been a few miscarriages, some stillbirths." Tony looked at Bucky. "I'm sorry, but statistically speaking, you have children out there."

Bucky took in everything in silence. He had children. Children Hydra had first forced on him and then taken away along with everything else they'd taken. Taking a deep breath, he nodded. "Thank you. How soon can we finish the arm replacement?"

'You're welcome' didn't exactly sound like the proper answer and Tony concentrated on the things he could fix. "We can go ahead with the surgery tomorrow morning as planned. There's no medical reason not to. You'll be off your feet for a few days, just to be on the safe side and then-" Then, they were most likely going to have a new mission. Tony would get JARVIS to search birth records and cross reference it with HYDRA agents to see if they could find anything. "We can wait for that. We'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

Normally, there were things to do well into the evening, but Steve had already cleared everything because of the surgery and when they left the lab, they went back to their apartment with very little to do. "We should eat. They said no food after midnight, just as a precaution." They wouldn't need to put Bucky to sleep and with his body, food might not be an issue, but Tony and Bruce weren't surgeons either and they were preparing for the worst case scenario. Steve also knew that Bucky would not want to eat with the revelation of the past hour.

Steve approached his friend and hugged him. "We're doing this together. Just remember that."

Bucky let Steve hug him, but he felt like he was just going through the motions. His arms curled around Steve's waist automatically, rather than with any real intent. Resting his forehead on Steve's shoulder, he nodded. "I know."

Steve was right. Bucky didn't want to eat. He didn't want to sleep. If he didn't need this arm replaced so badly, he wouldn't want to go through with that the next day, either. But, he needed that arm and he needed to be in fighting shape. With a deep breath, he pulled back. "I'm going after them. If I have to bring what's left of Hydra down in flames to do it, that's what I'm going to do."

"After who?" Steve asked. Hydra was still on their radar, but he was not one to go after people indiscriminately. Right now he cared more about Bucky's state of mind than the mission.

Bucky stared at him, brows drawn together in a frown. "You heard Stark. I've got...I've got _kids_. Kids that Hydra took, Steve. After what they did to me, what do you think they'd do to children? What could they still be doing-?" He ran a hand through his hair, loss and confusion writ in every line of his face. "Wouldn't you?"

It wasn't rational thinking and he knew it. But, it was easier to think about finding some mythical children than to deal with what had actually been done to himself. "I can't be a father to any of them. And they may not even be alive. But, I can't just dismiss them as failed experiments."

"I heard him," Steve answered. "I wanted to make sure that you heard him. We'll find those children… I guess they wouldn't be children, would they?" He let go of Bucky and went to sit on the couch. "I know this is going to be difficult and frustrating, but we need to work out a timeline. We know about most of your missions now. We can see when those where, and then we look at any long period of inactivity. If they were actively trying to create your children, they wouldn't send you out on a mission pregnant."

Steve nodded toward the couch so that Bucky could sit. His entire speech was cold and focused, but giving Bucky something practical that he could do was better than to sit around and wonder. "I know you don't like to think back, but we have no choice now. We have to find them."

"Why?" It was the question he'd been avoiding thinking about. But, as he sat down next to Steve, it came tumbling out in place of the strategy he should be contributing. "If they were actively trying to create my children," he quoted, staring down at his abdomen. "Why would they? What possible benefit could this have...?"

It didn't make any sense to him. If they'd wanted his children -- and he could imagine a thousand reasons for that, each more horrifying than the last -- why do what they'd done? Why not simply take his sperm and impregnate a woman with it? Why was it necessary to turn Bucky himself into this...creation? Why put him through that sort of physical trauma when he wouldn't even remember it given all the treatments needed to keep his mind under their control? Was it all simply because Zola needed to play God in ways even Schmidt hadn't desired, mad as he'd been?

"Why, Steve?"

Steve put an arm around Bucky and shook his head. "I don't know, Buck, but I've been asking myself the same question. We all know what benefits they'd have with raising your children, but to create them in this manner? There's something we aren't seeing."

There was no way to ask Zola, but maybe they could arrive at the information some other way. "JARVIS, do you still have the files Tony took from the Helicarrier?"

"Yes, Captain, and I'm already scanning them for any information about Sergeant Barnes. Unfortunately, his name is not mentioned nor is his code name. All assets are numbered. I need to go through each file to determine if they are pertinent," JARVIS said. "Current estimate indicates that it will take around sixteen hours."

"Thank you, JARVIS, and thank Tony for us." He smiled softly at Bucky. "Seems like we aren't the only ones who're questioning their motives, but it looks like there's nothing we can do until tomorrow." Whether JARVIS truly needed that much time or Tony had made sure that JARVIS needed that much time was anyone's guess, but they couldn't force the issue since going through those files manually would take weeks. Maybe not dealing with this problem was actually best for Bucky at the moment. "Let's concentrate on the surgery and then we worry about this tomorrow. Driving yourself crazy isn't going to help, and it's not going to help us find them."

Steve squeezed Bucky's shoulder, unwilling to let go of his best friend. "I'm going to do this with you. What is it that you used to tell me?" They both knew that Steve remembered everything. It was a natural ability that had been perfected with the serum. "Oh yes, 'til the end of the line. This is no different. We will find them and we will do what we need to deprogram them."

This was too surreal. They were talking about his kids. Deprogramming his kids. Kids he had carried himself. And then been made to forget they existed.

"I know you are." Patting Steve's leg, he stood up and began to pace. He couldn't help it. There was too much anxiety stirred up now to let him stay still. It was such a contrast from who he'd been as Hydra's Winter Soldier, from the way he was when he was working: still as a statue, barely breathing, patient. But, Steve's admonition was too late. Bucky was already driving himself crazy with all the questions.

With the anger.

Moving to the window, he folded his arms, cringing inwardly at the clicking whir that accompanied pretty much every movement of his left arm now. He wanted to go a few rounds with the heavy bag, but he couldn't until this surgery was complete the next day. "You know, I try really hard not to bitch and moan and complain about all this shit because I can't change it and I won't let them beat me. But, this is too much, Steve. When is it going to end?"

"Not for a long time," Steve answered, honestly. "And if these children, these men and women are like us, we'll be dealing with this for pretty much ever." Aging didn't affect them as regular people and they would be around for a long time unless someone killed them in battle. "Bucky, they are yours, but they have been raised by Hydra. We need to focus on helping them and we can't afford to show them our feelings on the matter. You can complain to me if it makes you feel better," he added as he got up.

Moving behind Bucky, Steve rested a hand on Bucky's shoulder. "This doesn't have to be a bad thing. They are family. We've lost everyone we loved, but with time, you could have a family again."

"Nothing's going to make me feel better. Not after this." Cold blue eyes stared into their own reflection, hard, as if he could take himself apart and be his own x-ray machine, suss out whatever other 'modifications' had been made. 'Modifications'. The word wasn't strong enough to describe how completely violated he felt. But, Steve wanted to talk responsibility and doing what was right.

"Besides, you're getting ahead of yourself, Steve. This isn't going to be like with me. You can't just say a line from the past and trigger happy memories they don't know they have. They don't have them. They don't know me anymore than I know them. There's no memory to remind them. I was an adult when Hydra's brainwashing began. I could fight it. I knew _to_ fight it. I had something to fight it with, someone to fight it for. But, they- Even if we can convince them Hydra's wrong, break the conditioning they've been raised with, they may still not want anything to do with me."

If it was just about wanting family, Bucky would have reached out to his nieces and nephews and their children. But, he hadn't. Bucky Barnes had been presumed dead for so long. And he'd been the Winter Soldier for so long, working against everything his own family had ever stood for...guilt and shame kept him away. It was better they never know.

"I'll be happy just to get any who might be-" He couldn't say the word 'lucky'. None of them were lucky. "Any who might still be alive. Get them away from Hydra." Bucky was trying very hard not to think about the possibility he might have to kill his own child for the good of the world.

"I know all of that, Buck, but we need to stay positive. You need to believe that we can do this." Steve refused to acknowledge the alternative. He'd fought for Bucky and he would fight for any offspring he might have "We can find them and free them. Then, they can get to know you. I know it won't be as easy as it was with you, but we're not going to give up."

Steve stepped closer, his body almost pressed against Bucky's back. "Tell me what I can do to make it better. I'll do anything you want."

"There is no making it better," Bucky bit out, the words leaving a bitter aftertaste in his mouth. He didn't pull away, but he also didn't relax against Steve's solid warmth supporting him from behind. "I...bore children. Maybe two _dozen_ of them. Twenty-four children were implanted inside me. Because it's never going to end. It'll never be over. Every time I think I've escaped them, worked free of Zola, something else comes along to remind me I'll always be his toy, his twisted plaything cobbled together from pieces of his own madness.

"And now there are others, my own flesh and blood. And I know I never really cared for the whole marriage and kids and settling down part before. But, I never thought I'd be horrified to the point of wanting to be sick just thinking about having kids. Shouldn't I have remembered _something_? Shouldn't I _feel_ something other than...revulsion at the very thought?"

"We don't know anything for certain. As Tony said, there are a lot of maybes. Once we start looking, we'll find those answers. We'll know what happened and we'll understand why you can't remember." Steve squeezed Bucky's shoulder. "You are free, Buck; that's what you have to remember. You're not his toy anymore. You're not Hydra's asset. You're Bucky Barnes. You're a soldier, a friend, a partner. You're a strong man who's been overcoming a dark past."

He moved slightly, until his front was pressed against the metal arm, almost protecting it with his body while he kept an arm against Bucky's back. "You're in shock. You've uncovered something else that they did to you. It's all right not to be happy about it." He couldn't bring himself to say that it was all right to feel repulsed by the idea of children, no matter how they came to be. "Just… focus on the practical things for now. The more facts we have, the easier it will be to deal with the situation."

"How can I be free when he's still pulling the strings like this?" Bucky swallowed hard. It felt like he was suffocating, choking on his own dark past. Relenting, he turned to face his best friend, arms unfolding just enough to grip fistfuls of Steve's shirt as Bucky hung on for dear life and bowed his head. "I can't breathe, Steve. I don't even feel human anymore."

Steve's hold tightened while he drew circles on Bucky's back. "You're very human, Buck. You wouldn't feel so strongly if you weren't. Emotions, friendships, memories, those are the things that make us human. Those emotions are becoming too much, and that's fine. What do you say we go for a ride? You get on the bike and just drive and you won't have to think of anything for a while. We can take a trip to Coney, take a walk on the beach, and not think about any of this. Would you like that?"

Sighing, Bucky shook his head. He wasn't going to be able to stop thinking about it. But, he was done visibly wallowing when it wasn't getting him anywhere. The next day's surgery would be bad enough and his sleep was likely to be interrupted by more nightmares than usual thanks to this. Standing up straight, he stepped away. "It'll be fine. We'll figure things out. I should try to sleep. Long day tomorrow."

Steve nodded, and watched him go. He was trying to help, but he was failing. He might not know what to say, but he could be there for his best friend. He followed Bucky into his room, determined to help, even if it was just staying awake to stop the nightmares before they happen.

* * *

Steve waited outside of the lab, watching through the glass walls. They had known that it would take hours, but as much as he trusted Tony and Bruce, he would have been more comfortable with a practicing surgeon in the room. On the other hand, Bucky would not allow some stranger with surgical tools near him.

The hissing sound from the door made him finally looked away from Bucky. "How is he?"

"Better than a normal man would be," Tony answered. "He'll be up and running in no time. We've kept pumping him with local anesthesia since his body burns it faster than normal, and it might lead to soreness. Then again, his healing might compensate."

"And what about the files?" Steve asked.

"What files?" Tony asked innocently, and got a stare in return. He rolled his eyes. "It'll be a few more hours."

"No, it won't. JARVIS volunteered the information about timing and that kept nagging at me. Do you know why?" Steve asked.

"If I say yes, will you refrain from telling me?" Tony answered.

"Because the only time JARVIS gives me an unsolicited timeframe is when you don't want me to bother you," Steve said, ignoring Tony's theatrics.

"And if you know that, then you shouldn't bother me," Tony quipped. "This isn't just an arm. I could have made the arm in half an hour. Hell, I could have made it in my sleep. The problem is that the arm is connected to his brain. If he's too upset or if we screw up, we don't know what the consequences could be. We needed him as calm as possible. This was the only way."

"You could have told me," Steve said.

Tony snorted. "Because you're such a good liar. Cap, you're a lousy liar. You're Mr. Boy Scout, Honest Abe; you get my drift. If he'd asked me if I knew more, I'd have looked at him in the eye and said 'no'. If he'd asked you the same thing, you'd have said 'it's best if we wait' or 'I can't help you'. You do verbal gymnastics to avoid lying. Anyone can see that and Barnes is hardly anyone. It would take him five minutes to get the truth from you. Also, no offense, Cap, but after everything that's been done to him, he deserves to hear it first. So you can be a good boy, wait until Bruce gives the go ahead and then we can go and talk to him."

Steve looked into the room again. "I'm only trying to help him."

"By making the decisions for him?" Tony asked. "Do you know what scientists believe will be the hardest part of the uterus implants? It won't be the actual implant, or the artificial insemination. It won't be finding the right cocktail of estrogen and hormones. No, the hardest part will be the emotional impact on men, because this is something that only women have done since the beginning of time. These men will choose to undergo this surgery and scientists are still worried about their mental state."

Tony looked inside the lab. "I know psychology wasn't a big thing in your time, but even you can figure out that it's going to be worse for someone who didn't choose it and doesn't remember it. This isn't as bad as losing an arm. This goes to the core of gender identity. A man is not made to have children and he was forced to do so, repeatedly. He doesn't need you to take more choices away from him."

"I don't want to see him hurt, Tony," Steve said. "If you have an idea, then spit it out."

"I'm sure he's going to need you. Help him, but don't take over for him. When we find them, then you can count on the rest of us," Tony said. "I'm not saying leave him alone. I'm saying that you can't protect him from this. He needs to know and he has the right to be the first to find out. Now, I'll go see if Bruce needs a hand and we can speed up thing. Best I can do, Cap."

Steve waited, standing in the same spot. It felt like he'd been waiting for years when Tony waved him in. He went straight to Bucky and squeezed his right shoulder. "Any pain?"

"I'll be fine." Bucky bent his right arm at the elbow, reaching for Steve's wrist. He wasn't about to remind Steve how high his tolerance level for pain was, or how it had gotten that way. Truthfully, he probably wasn't feeling as much pain as he was probably in. His entire focus was on not freaking out with how similar to his nightmares the last several hours had been.

_Sergeant Barnes. The procedure has already started._

He'd never told Steve he'd been awake for part of the first procedure that had given him the arm in the first place.

"How soon can I get out of here?" he asked Bruce. Bucky was sure there were plenty of things they needed to discuss. But, especially after the revelations of the day before, those discussions could happen when he wasn't lying on an operating table having to relive his nightmares in order to just keep functioning like the normal human being he didn't get to be.

Bruce looked at Tony for a moment. "I would like to keep you here so we can monitor you, but if you don't mind us invading your place, with JARVIS keeping an eye on your vitals, I suppose we could move you."

"I'll get the extra IV and antibiotics," Tony said. 

"Right, let me disconnect this one," Bruce said. "We can hook it up again upstairs. You might get dizzy and we don't have a wheelchair-"

"I can carry him," Steve offered.

Tony snorted. "Boy scout," he murmured. "Or you can give him a hand and watch out for the needle in his hand."

"Oh for Christ's sake. I'm not a highborn lady in need of a fainting couch," Bucky grumbled, holding out his right hand for Steve to take. "Just help me up. It's no worse than when you found me in the Hydra camp during the war."

They could parade the entire Avengers' team through his bedroom and Bucky would smile enthusiastically if that's what it took to get out of _this_ room. He'd do fucking cartwheels if it made everyone stop treating him like a damned invalid.

"I was trying to make _them_ happy," Steve answered with an amused smile. "Come on, let's get you to our apartment and they can deal with the drugs you don't need, but that they'll give you anyway."

In fact, it was better than the Hydra camp. Bucky was coherent, there were no fires or explosions, they didn't have to climb and could use the elevator instead. Steve could tell from the way Bucky was leaning, or not leaning in this case, against him that he felt better than he had in Germany. He let go only long enough to open their door. Tony had all computerized doors, but he liked the old fashioned keys that couldn't be hacked.

"Is the couch all right?" he asked Bruce, ignoring the look he got from Tony.

"JARVIS can monitor him in any room, as long as he's comfortable, it's fine," Bruce answered.

"And here I thought we were going to pile up in bed," Tony teased as he followed the two men to the couch and set the pole for the IV and antibiotics. Bruce connected the IV to the needle and fixed its speed. "Now that we're all set up, do you want to know what we found or would you rather wait?" Tony asked Bucky.

"Tell me, before Steve pops a super blood vessel." Bucky wasn't stupid. He could see the looks and the way they were ignored.

"I doubt that it's even medically possible," Bruce answered.

Tony chuckled. "And then people think I'm impossible." He walked to the armchair as if to sit, but then started to pace. "All right, so this project goes back to right after the war. It was called the Evolution Initiative. It's an umbrella program under which they have attempted a great many things."

"As far as we call tell, reproducing the serum was their first idea," Bruce continued. "The problem is that during the war Zola used the cube to stabilize the serum he had created. With no cube, he had to rely on gamma radiation, and we know how tricky that is."

"Yes, you turn into a giant green man with awesome power if you're lucky," Tony said.

"Right, lucky," Bruce muttered.

"Considering the alternative? Would you rather be dead?" Tony looked at Steve and Bucky. "There were a lot of dead 'volunteers'. They continued the program well into the 80s, while trying other things. Hydra makes the Nazi doctors look like humanitarians," he said with a shiver. "Skipping the gory details for now, and we've not read everything, mind you, we know that they tried cloning, but your physiology isn't natural, and reproducing it required the serum and the radiation, so they were back to square one."

"They probably could have managed to do more with clones if they had studied it. They made amazing advancements in some areas, but Zola didn't seem to like the idea of clones," Bruce said, looking at Tony, who just shrugged.

"Bottom line is that he decided that the best way would be to have children. The thing is if you have a father with enhanced powers and a normal mother, there's no guarantee that the children will have powers," Tony continued. "However, if you have two parents with enhanced powers, then you're guaranteed to have children with enhanced powers."

Bucky just stared at Tony in response, not liking the sound of this already. Apparently, Hydra had a lifetime supply of men's size twenty boots to drop.

"Oh, don't look at me like that. If they had spares, they wouldn't have to try so hard, but they had you, and they had-" He pointed both indexes toward Steve. "His DNA, courtesy of the SSR. That was still not enough, though. This is truly brilliant. He was able to strip away the DNA of eggs and sperm to insert yours and Steve's. It's really truly amazing, what he did. When you couple it with the creation of uterus implants? The man was a genius."

Bruce cleared his throat, getting Tony's attention. "This is why we think that he didn't like the cloning. It was a lot simpler. This project-"

"Code name: Miracle Child," Tony put in.

"It started in 1952, but it took over a decade just to come up with the implant. In the meantime, they were doing research on DNA. There were a few tries, but they couldn't fertilize the egg. Then the egg wouldn't attach to the uterine wall. The first actual pregnancy was in 1968. I'm sorry to say that it lasted about three weeks before a miscarriage." Bruce smiled softly in Bucky's direction. "There were three more unsuccessful attempts before a successful pregnancy. The first child was born in 1974."

"There are no names in the file. All subjects for all the tests are identified by number. The only name we did find was Steve's, but I guess they figured he was dead so it didn't matter," Tony said. 

"Even after that pregnancy, there were other miscarriages," Bruce continued. "When a child is conceived, you have a 50/50 chance when it comes to gender, but when you modify the egg and the sperm and both have the Y chromosome, then you have a 25% chance that it's a girl, 50% that's a boy, and 25% it's a being with two Y chromosomes and that's just not possible. There were twenty-one pregnancies in total. There were nine miscarriages, one aborted pregnancy, because they needed him on the field, two stillbirths and nine successful births with one set of twins."

"In terms of the pregnancies, they would have needed him out of cryo, but under sedation," Tony added. "That would mean using liquid nutrients, hormones, estrogen. They would have to keep his muscles active through massage. This is why you don't remember. You were asleep the entire time. Now in terms of finding them, I was thinking about cross-referencing the dates of birth with those of children of S.H.I.E.L.D. employees. The problem is that Hydra hadn't infiltrated just S.H.I.E.L.D.. They could have been given to anyone. I think finding people who were assigned to the Winter Soldier and asking them, nicely of course, who got the children is a better way to go about it." Tony finally sat down. "And now, you can ask questions."

Bucky opened his mouth and closed it two or three times before giving up, having too much trouble wrapping his brain around what had been said already to want to ask questions. He couldn't even look Steve in the just then, too afraid of how the other man was reacting to the news.

Steve's kids.

He'd not only been forced to give birth multiple times; he'd been forced to give birth to his best friend's children.

 _Their_ children.

Bucky and Steve's.

"No names, but there would have been files on their progress, wouldn't there? They wouldn't have been children, people deserving of privacy, in Zola's eyes, but continuing experiments. He'd have wanted records. He always wanted records about everything. He'd have wanted to track their development, bring them in for testing at different stages to see how the serum took effect as they grew older. This is the same guy who created the algorithm for Project Insight. He'd want records kept as long as they were alive."

"Wow, calm down, Mr. Spy. Do you know how long it's taken us to piece this together?" Tony asked. "We weren't stalling. None of this was in the S.H.I.E.L.D. files. I guess they weren't that stupid. We've put together files from the different Hydra bases that we've been destroying. A lot of the information comes from where we found Wanda and Pietro, who by the way aren't yours. Score one for mental sanity in the family."

"They are however part of a different program under the Evolution initiative," Bruce explained.

"Yeah, and the files? They don't come with links to anything else that we might need. They are just numbers, more numbers, oh yes, and we had surgery to prepare for," Tony said with a fake smile. "We'll find them, but we need a little more than a day."

"That wasn't-," Bucky began.

Steve had been quiet, listening to everything. When they were done, or at least when Tony took a break from speaking, he finally spoke up. "This becomes our top priority, even before destroying more bases, and I don't mean just our children. I mean all of these children that were created. We're going to free them all. Tony, you look at the files and see what you can tell us. If you need help, get Natasha. Bruce, start getting in touch with doctors, psychologists, anyone who can help us treat them once we have them. Sam can help with that. I'll have Clint look for safe houses where we can keep them before they transition to normal life."

Tony rolled his eyes. "That's it. We have our orders, everything is swell."

"What would you like me to say?" Steve answered. 

"They are your children, Cap. You got that, right?" Tony asked.

"Yes, and I don't see how that makes a difference. They were family the moment you said that they were Bucky's children. I would have done everything in my power before I found that they were biologically mine, and I'll still do anything." Everyone seemed to be so conflicted about this, but Steve still couldn't understand the reason. No matter how they came to be, they were family. "Gentlemen, we have work to do."

Bruce sighed, but then tapped Tony's arm. "Let's see what else we can find. JARVIS, let me know if Bucky's vital signs are outside the norm."

"I will, Dr. Banner," JARVIS answered. 

"You two, play nice," Tony said as he followed Bruce out of the apartment.

Bucky made a half-hearted attempt at flipping Tony off as the two scientists left. But, it came out as more of a half-wave, his mind already on other things.

"The records are probably in Russia," he told Steve as he tried to push himself up off the couch. "Pierce was the one who brought me to the States. Zola kept his operations based out of Russia, easier to hide his activities from Peggy and Stark, probably. Didn't you say Romanoff got you a file on the Winter Soldier project from some 'former' KGB contacts? Pull on that thread and I'll bet we find something."

"According to Zola, he died in 1972 or at least his body did. Someone else was directing the program. It's more likely that von Strucker was in charge, and we can't seem to pinpoint where he was," Steve said. "I'll ask her to see what she can find, but I still trust our ways more than the world of spies, and you need to sit down. I agreed that you can recuperate here, but that means you have to recuperate and not walk around. Nothing is going to be done today and this child is forty-one. A few more days won't make much of a difference."

"Fine. Will you get me a pen and some paper, please?" Bucky was too emotionally drained to start an argument over whether or not he was able to get up off the couch. Nor was he just going to sit around and wait for Steve's friends to tell him where to go and what to do. There had to be things he could do from the stupid couch.

"Just because Zola's body died, don't discount him. He put his brain into a computer, essentially becoming pure information. And, Pierce was still relying on him long after seventy-two. It wouldn't surprise me to find out he backed up his brain on a new syste-" Bucky stopped. "Damn. He could have been storing the data right on inside his brain on that mainframe you found."

"I'm not discounting anyone," Steve said as he stood up to get the requested items. "I'm also not letting past experience influence me. We know that von Strucker called the twins miracles. The name does seem familiar, doesn't it?"

He returned with a pad and a pen. After handing them to Bucky, he sat next to his friend and looked at him. "We're going to follow every lead, Buck. I want to find them as much as you. Not just our children, but all of them." Silence filled the room for a moment, before Steve had to ask, "Are you okay with- You're not okay with any of it, I know, but I mean the us part, is that bothering you?"

Bucky ground his teeth at what was a dismissal, whether Steve admitted it or not, and simply started writing down everything: names, places, codenames. He'd done similar exercises routinely over the last few months as a way to break through to his own memories. But, this time was different. This time he had an objective. He was looking for particular memories. There probably wasn't much. He'd been less asset and more...specimen...for most of the time and Pierce had been the only one of his masters who'd actually spoken to him like he was in on the plan. But, there had to be something. Twenty-one pregnancies and there hadn't been _one_ slip with the drugs?

Then, again, if he started remembering now, he'd never be able to trust the memory, would he? He knew what the labs were like. He had memories of the people. His mind could fill in the pregnant part and torture him with falsehoods as easily as truths.

He was so caught up in his musings, he almost didn't catch that Steve was asking him a question for which he actually wanted an answer. "No, I'm not okay with any of it. But, you'll have to be more specific. Does it bother me that my experimental kids have you for a second father? Does it bother me that my experimental kids have a second father? That I'm more mother than father? That our kids are experiments as much as I am? That it turns out the one good thing I saw in all of this, that I'd somehow protected my best friend from being used by the same monsters, is basically false? Which part did you want to know if it bothered me, exactly?"

Bucky was obviously upset, but pointing it out would make things worse and not better. "Bothered that I couldn't catch you, didn't come back for you, that because of my blood, they came up with this idea and were able to create these children, are you bothered by any of that?" Steve asked instead. "Because as far as I can see, your only fault is trying to protect me on that train. If you want to play the blaming game, I win this round for most mistakes committed in one op with the worse and most lasting repercussions spanning over decades and impacting hundreds of people, directly or indirectly."

"What blame game? I know exactly whose fault this all is and it ain't you, pal."

This wasn't the first time that they had this discussion and Steve doubted that it would be the last time. They were both too good at taking the blame for things that happened and they both wanted to protect the other. Steve never mentioned that he was the Captain, the one in charge, and in the end, it was his responsibility, not because he wanted to forget it, but because Bucky wouldn't care about that. Rehashing it was likely to get both of them more upset.

Steve took a deep breath, before speaking again. "They didn't use me and they didn't hurt me. You're the one whom they experimented on. I wish I'd been around to help you and them, but I wasn't, and there's nothing I can do to fix that. Now, I'll do anything to protect you and our children. _Ours_. It doesn't matter how they were created. They are ours, our family. So I guess my question is whether the fact that they are mine makes things better or worse."

"Both," Bucky snapped, raking his hand through his hair, only to get it caught when he forgot about the IV attached to it. Growling, he tried to work it free on his own. "If it had to be anyone, I'd rather it was you. Okay?

"But, the fact that it's you, that they used your blood...they did use you, Steve. They used the only part of you they thought still existed. They twisted it just like they twisted me, like they've probably been twisting our children. Ever since my memories started coming back, the one positive thing I've been able to focus on is that I was able to protect you, they didn't get their hands on you. But, they did. They got your blood, your DNA, and they're playing God with your life." It was difficult to work up to a good rant when he was trying not to tug the needle out of his hand. But, Bucky was trying.

"It's not about blame. It's...it's just one more thing they've taken away from me, one more part of my life, _our_ lives that they've torn apart and rearranged to suit them. And, it doesn't even seem to faze you. I know you're all about doing what's right and getting things done. But, damn it, doesn't it get to you even a _little_ bit?"

"Of course it fazes me. They are my children, too, and they have taken them and turned them into people we fight, enemies, men and women who can't even tell right from wrong. _That_ gets to me, but the fact that they exist in the first place?" Everyone seemed to be looking at him, expecting him to say that there was something wrong with that. Tony first, and now Bucky. In the end, he simply shook his head. "No, Buck, that doesn't get to me. I can't get upset that they exist. I'm not upset that they used my blood to create them. It might not have happened naturally, but it doesn't change the fact that ten people now exist, because of me, because of us."

Steve put a hand on Bucky's knee. "If you want to be upset for what they have done to you, you have more than enough reasons. If you want to be upset for the lives those children have lived then I'll join you. If you want to be upset because you think they used me, then don't, because I don't mind. They created new life with my DNA. Do you know what are the chances of me having children with what I do? None, or at least I thought so. And now, it's different. I'm sorry if it's not what you want to hear, but I can't see the creation of a new life as a negative thing."

"I don't want. To be. Upset." With his hand finally untangled, Bucky could look at Steve properly. "I don't want to be. But, I am. About all of it." There was so much anger churning up inside him, everything felt tinged with red. He couldn't not be upset. Every time he thought about the kids or the way they'd come about or the arm they'd just spent hours replacing or anything, really, he got more and more angry. If this situation was a straw, he was the camel with a broken back.

"Yet, you seem so calm. Giving orders, making decisions, deciding what paths to investigate. It seems like it might as well be just any other mission to you." And that just irritated Bucky even further, made him wonder if it meant there was something -- more -- wrong with him. "And I can't just accept any of this. I'm sorry. If that's a problem, well...maybe it just means they left the damned hormones behind and I'm turning into a dame after all." God knew he felt like it the way Steve was trying to handle him.

Steve smiled softly. "No one would mistake you for a woman, and there's no problem, Buck. You're upset. I understand that you're upset, but it seems like you're angrier that I'm not upset." That Steve did not understand. "You have reasons to be upset, and maybe if our situations were reversed, I'd be upset. I don't know. But they aren't reversed and I'm the one who woke up and found you alive and now, I discover that I have children. If I'm angry at anyone is at myself. If I had just come back to find you, none of this would have happened."

He shook his head. He was not going to go through this discussion again. "There are ten innocent human beings out there. More if you count all the others that were created. No matter what they have done, it's been because of Hydra and what they have taught them. No matter how much blood they have on their hands, they are innocent victims. Getting angry isn't going to help them, and they are my first concern, which means staying calm and making decision that will lead us to them. You take whatever time you need to deal with - This is what I don't get. Tony was talking about gender identity and forced pregnancies, but it's done and you can't even remember it, so what's even the point to think about it other than to try and get information? Maybe, I am a man of our times. You suck it up and move on. Now, it's PTSD, psychological problems, syndromes, I can't even keep track, but the bottom line is that you can't change what happened, while we can make the future better for those people. That's what I'm concentrating on."

"You think I blame our kids? Is that it?" This time Bucky managed to propel himself off the couch with just the one hand, anger lending power to the muscles involved. "You're a man of our times who can just suck it up and I'm, what exactly? Huh, Steve? Since I can't just ignore the fact that twenty-four hours ago I found out I have a goddamn _uterus_ , that not only have I been in and out of cryo for continual brainwashing, but to be used as a broodmare for a twisted super soldier program and not even be given the luxury of remembering I'd _had_ children, what does that make _me_? Tell me! If it's so unfathomable to you why that sort of thing might be just a little fucking much to process, what would you have me do?" Maybe he wasn't being fair to Steve. But, he just couldn't take the unflappability another minute when his own rage was burning up inside him with no outlet other than his best friend.

"I can't even _do_ anything because of my arm, something I also wouldn't have if it weren't for Hydra. So, tell me! While you're staying calm and making the fucking decisions and Stark's running the intel and Banner's doing research, what exactly is the useless pile of experimental leftovers supposed to do _other_ than consider exactly how much of a monster he truly is?!" There was absolutely nothing dignified about turning on one's heel with an IV poll, or whatever the hell Stark and Banner would call it. Bucky did it anyway.

Steve followed. He thought that he was doing a pretty good job at not picking up Bucky and forcing him to stay in bed. He should be praised for that, but instead kept that calm exterior that Bucky seemed to dislike so much. "You are going to do exactly what I'm doing: wait. When we have the intel, then we act. However, that's not going to happen if something goes wrong with the surgery. Get in bed, Buck. Please. I'll stay with you. You just had implants connected to your brain; you shouldn't even be out of the infirmary." Adding that he was only here because Steve agreed to it was something that wouldn't go well at the moment.

Bucky's laugh was dark and harsh, with a sharp edge to it that hadn't existed before the war. "My brain's survived worse with less recovery time. I'll be fine."

And if he'd stayed in that infirmary, he'd have ended up killing someone.

Stepping in front of Bucky, Steve put one hand on Bucky's right shoulder. "Listen for a moment, okay? I don't think you're blaming those children. I have said that I understand that you are angry and you have plenty of reasons to be, but one, you shouldn't be angry on my behalf, because there's no reason to be, and two, that anger is only going to hurt you. Instead of being angry, I'm looking at ways to give these children- these men and women a better future. It's what I do, but that doesn't mean that I don't care. I care, Buck, but I'm not going to focus on things that we can't change. We can't change the experiments or the pregnancies. We can change what happens from now on. We can find the children. You can have surgery and have the uterus removed. And as soon as you're better, we can box and spar and you can hit me until you feel better. I'm just asking that for today, you do what you're supposed to do and rest. We can have a sleepover like we did when we were kids. The point is that I need you well, because you are my first concern."

"You make it really hard to stay mad at you when you say things like that, ya punk. You know that?" Huffing softly, Bucky pushed ineffectually at Steve's shoulder with a loose fist. It didn't even hurt to realize the other man wasn't disagreeing with Bucky's assessment of himself as a monster. Truth couldn't hurt as much as the lies, after all. And it was the truth. "Fine. I'll go to bed. But you're going to need more than couch cushions to sleep on these days," he added with a shy smile that was the best apology he could manage right then.

Bucky sighed. "I know you care. I _know_ , alright? I just...I'd feel less like I'm losing my own mind if I wasn't the only one feeling this anger, I guess. It's what I said last night. This is just too much. It's the final nail in the coffin of my sanity. I don't think I can take any more revelations like this. I really don't. The serum and the arm and the brainwashing, now a uterus and children. I'm at the end of my rope and part of me is starting to think it'll never be over. There'll always be one more shoe to drop, one more discovery of one more experiment. Zola died more than forty years ago. His computer brain was blown up trying to get to you. And I still can't believe he's gone, that he won't pop up somewhere new, in some new form, just to prolong this nightmare."

Steve could feel his heart break for his friend. "If I could make you the promise that there won't be anything else, I would, but you know I can't. I can promise to be here and support you, no matter what we have to face. It doesn't matter where the next problem comes from: Zola, Hydra, aliens from outer space." Very carefully, he hugged Bucky tight. "You're not going to lose your mind, because I won't let you. You can be angry, scream at me, punch me, or anything else you need, and I'll be here to make you laugh and go out and feel not good, but be okay at least."

He rubbed Bucky's back, never loosening his grip. "I love you, Buck. Just remember that you're not alone anymore."

He told himself he couldn't have stopped the hug if he'd wanted to. But, the truth was, Bucky didn't want to. Leaning against Steve, he let his friend's strength enfold him for a moment, shoring up the weak spots no one else but Steve would probably be allowed to see, anyway. The two of them against the world. It's how it had always been. It was the only part of this entire mess that felt right.

"You're such a sap," he teased as he pulled away after a minute or two of letting Steve support him the way Steve wanted. "This will be a breeze if the kids inherited that. We can just hug them until they see the error of their ways." Somehow, saying it with less anger made the reality of everything settle in a little deeper and he stared at the other man with wide eyes. "We've got kids. You and me."

"Yep, we do," he said with a grin. "I was waiting to see when you got to that part, because that part is rather ... what is that Tony says? Cool, awesome. You can even get angry at me for thinking that's awesome, but then you'd be acting like a hormonal mess and we don't want that," he teased.

"Look at it this way, they can never be as stubborn as me and you've always known how to deal with me," Steve pointed out. "Now it's the two of us dealing with ten children. It's going to be a breeze and we can discuss this while you lie down. I'm not leaving you for today."

"Yes, Ma." If they'd still been twelve, Bucky would have stuck his tongue out and, for a moment, he was tempted, if only to further lighten the mood by doing something stupid. But, he refrained, rolling his eyes instead.

"You're going to have to leave at some point," he went on, turning to follow his Captain's 'order'. "I haven't eaten since God knows when and if I can't walk around, you're on kitchen duty."

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure that Tony doesn't even know where his kitchen is thanks to this thing called take-out." Thanks also to Pepper, JARVIS and random robots the man created. Steve wasn't sure it was healthy to spend so much time with machines.

"Tell me what you want, and I'll make it." Steve kicked off his shoes, before bending down to line them up in front of the unused side of the bed. "You tell me when you want to eat as well. I'm your maid for the day. Your wish is my command. Do you want me to cook now or later?"

Looking up from where he was pulling the covers back, Bucky smirked. "You're so lucky I'm not Stark. I'll only take partial advantage of that decree. But, I don't care. Meat, potatoes, filling, whatever form that takes." He slid under the covers and shifted until he found a comfortable enough position. Yawning, he glanced at Steve with a lazy grin. "I'll just take a quick nap while you cook. Yeah? Good."

Now that he was giving in on taking it easy, Bucky was actually tired and if Steve had a response, Bucky was fast asleep before he could hear it.

* * *

Steve was good at planning. It was just who he was, even before the serum. If people barely paid attention to you, you had plenty of time to observe. Of course, his ability to plan had always warred with his need to stand up for what was right, which had gotten him into plenty of fights. Bucky had tried to minimize the number of times he got beaten up, but usually that meant that both of them got into the middle of things. Seven decades later, nothing had really changed.

"Cap, just because I've found two of the kids, it doesn't mean we have to rush right there." Tony couldn't believe he was the one arguing for patience and restraint. "We don't have a place set up for them yet."

"You were planning on a jail," Steve said. "When I said a safehouse, I wasn't talking about cells and bars."

"You can't exactly let Hydra members run around," Tony answered.

"We don't have a psychiatrist available," Bruce said, before the other two went through the same discussion that they'd had for the past hour. "Steve, we can't help them if we can't get through to them."

"You can," Steve said.

"I'm not that kind of a doctor." Bruce seemed to be saying that a lot.

Steve crossed his arms and glared at them. "Then I can. They are my children."

Tony rolled his eyes. "And they hate you. Do you think the bright spandex will convince them? Besides, they are safe at West Point." He looked at Bucky who'd been relatively quiet while he and Steve kept going round and round over the same point. "Barnes, tell him that he's being irrational."

"I'd call it wildly optimistic," Bucky drawled. He'd come to terms with Steve's wide-eyed optimism during the last few days he was sitting around recovering from the surgery. But, this was normal. They'd always had their differences when it came to how they approached strategy and usually just had to find a way to balance what each thought was the most important issue. "It's always been part of his charm."

When he turned to Steve, it was to offer a different tactic than Tony had tried as yet. "Stark's not entirely wrong about leaving them there for a little while longer, though. I don't like the thought any more than you do. But, we have to consider the ramifications on the overall mission if we go for them now. It's going to make a big noise if we kidnap two West Point cadets. That kind of thing makes the news. And, that gets Hydra's notice. If they were almost anywhere else, we could slip in and take them out, no notice. If we only took one, it would be less obvious. But, we can't do that to them, can't separate them like that. If we go in there now, it'll be a red flag going up that we're taking back our kids and then we lose them all when Hydra throws them into a hole somewhere we can't find.

"As much as I hate to say it, we need to wait a while longer, wait until we have more intel on all of them, or at least a few more of them. Then we can plan a coordinated strike or series of strikes. Get them out before Hydra can compare notes enough to see the pattern. Because, once they figure out we're coming for them, it's not going to be pretty. And I wouldn't put it past them to decide to kill all of them if that was the most expedient route to keep us from getting them back."

"I'm not going in there to kidnap two cadets," Steve said, because all of them seemed to be making things a lot more complicated that they had to be. "I'm going to go in there and explain to Lieutenant General Carlton that we need those two cadets and it needs to stay under wraps."

Tony raised his eyes brows. "And he will hand them over, because of your nonexistent charm. Or are we relying on the fact that he's a fossil, too, and has a soft spot for you?"

Steve stared Tony down, not interested in getting into an argument on two fronts. "I'm relying on the fact that he has common sense." He looked at Bucky. "This isn't the first time that I've talked people into doing things that didn't exactly follow regulations. I can get them here without a fuss. Trust me."

Bucky raised both eyebrows and cocked his head. "Trusting you isn't the issue." Moving to stand in front of Steve, he put his right hand on Steve's shoulder. "It's not the Lieutenant General who's going to be the problem. It's Hydra and how closely they'll have them monitored and how thoroughly they'll have already been trained."

Sighing, he stepped back. "Walk me through it. If you want to do this your way, take me through step-by-step. What do you say to whom and what are your back-up plans if something doesn't work?"

Tony snorted and sat on the arm rest. "Oh this should be fun. Bruce-" He gestured toward the couch. Bruce dipped his head, but the little smile that said that he agreed with Tony was there if anyone was looking for it. "Yes, Cap, do tell us what you plan to do."

"You both know that I don't work like that. I'll get there, and I'll find the right words. I always do," Steve said. "I have to be there, see them, see how they react. I know you think that I just spout words, but I can tell when people react to what I'm saying: pupil movement, speeding of the heart. I can see reaction that most human beings can't see just like I can see a bullet coming from a sniper rifle."

He ignored Tony for a moment and concentrated on Bucky. "I don't know what's going to work on them, Buck, but we go there, we get the General to hand them over. He can call them to his office, we can pull them out from there and talk elsewhere. It's still better than sneaking in and kidnapping them for real." He pointed behind him to where Tony and Bruce were sitting. "Their objection isn't the how, but the when. They don't want those kids in here, and I don't blame them, but you know what? People didn't believe that I could get through to you or that we could stop Hydra unless I killed you. I proved them wrong on both counts. Let me prove them wrong again." He ran his fingers through his hair. "You know I'm not going to give an order on this without your agreement. They are your children, too, but you know me. You know that when I set out to do something, I do it. I'm bringing all of them home, but you need to give me the chance."

"Okay, first? _We_. They're _our_ kids and I haven't knowingly let you go into a fight alone since we were eight." Bucky folded his arms and stared at Steve, annoyance at the constant use of the word 'I' in this plan clear in his expression. "If you're set on this way, you know I'm going to back you up. But, before I can do that, I need to know you've thought through all the angles because nothing is straightforward where Hydra's concerned. What if Carlton's Hydra? What about the fact they've probably bugged his office and put at least one operative into his staff? Any word getting back to them of us being there and taking the kids could mean they lock down all of the others."

Like Steve, he wasn't paying much attention to Tony and Bruce except to be aware of where they were and whether or not they were a threat. "Do you realize I'm still struggling with my own conditioning some days? It's been a year since our fight on the helicarrier and I remember who I am, but I still catch myself slipping into that way of thinking sometimes. And that's with a year of working on remembering who I am, with a good number of my memories returned. And that's what first started the break in the first place. Memories. I remembered you and you could use that. Our kids don't have those memories and Hydra didn't have to wipe their minds to make them forget. They were never there. All their memories are of Hydra and Hydra's teaching, Hydra's beliefs. It's going to take a lot of time to help them break through that, weeks, months. And until we do, they are going to see us as an enemy holding them against their will. They will try to escape wherever we put them. They might even try to kill us. They may only be nineteen, but Hydra wouldn't put them at West Point if they weren't fully trained operatives."

"I know all of that, Buck, but how is waiting going to help? Are they going to stop being Hydra? Will they want to kill us any less? Will we be able to fool Hydra at different locations? We're going to have the same problem no matter who we try to rescue first. Do you think the others will be easier? Older ones probably have standard check-ins, plus they have friends, jobs, people who would notice that they went missing. If there's a place where people won't question orders, it's West Point. In a way, that's the best location for us," he answered.

"We don't necessarily have to hide," Bruce said, looking at Tony who laughed.

"I'm teaching you well," Tony answered. "He's right, though. If you want to do this, then we go as the Avengers, suit, uniform and shield, we can even bring the Big Guy."

"I'd rather not," Bruce answered.

"You're controlling it much better and the Hulk doesn't kill indiscriminately anymore. You'd be fine," Tony reassured him. "Still, the point is that if we go in as some kind of friendly gesture, maybe speak with Rhodey and do the same at the other services academies, it won't be as suspicious. I can get you a jammer for when you talk to this general. You still have the problem of keeping them here."

"What if we build something like the glass room on the helicarrier? We can make it bigger, though, and encase a full apartment," Bruce thought. "We'd need a few days, but we could manage."

Tony thought for a moment, and then nodded. Steve and Bucky were the only residents on this floor anyway and there was plenty of space. "We can cover the entire floor, divide it in smaller apartments, but all secure so we're prepared for the future. I guess it could work."

Steve smiled brightly. "See, how much easier it is when you help me? You do your science stuff, and I'll call Rhodey to make arrangements for friendly visits." He squeezed Bucky's arm. "I know you'll be there with me. I never expected any different. For now, talk to Sam, see if he found any books on the subject, any secret projects, anything we can use or that we need to know to help the transition. Memories or not, you'll be the one who understands their lives the most. We're going to need that. They are going to need you."

Bucky had watched impassively while the three of them figured out there plan, keeping his irritation and misgivings to himself. He was used to this, being dismissed by people who 'knew better' how to do these things. He'd need to be prepared to have his entire cover as Winter Soldier broken with this op. But, he was clearly out-voted. Now, he merely nodded his acceptance of the orders and turned to go call Wilson. "I assume you'll let me know when you need me."

Steve had known Bucky for too long not to know that something was wrong. "Would you give us a moment?"

Bruce gestured toward the door. "We need to start getting the floor ready."

"Right, and it won't be done today, because we are good, but not Gods… Not yet at least," Tony finished with a grin. "Think Thor's father can do something about it," he asked Bruce as they walked out of the apartment.

"So what's going on? " Steve asked as he sat down.

"I can't go with you," Bucky told him. He'd been thinking about the plan and it wasn't setting well in his mind. Going in like that, openly, one at a time. Yes, he wanted to get their kids away from Hydra as quickly as possible. But, he didn't trust that Hydra wouldn't figure it out. They'd been three steps ahead of everyone for decades. The chances they wouldn't know, that they wouldn't figure this out and hide the kids even deeper than they already were hidden, were slim in Bucky's eyes.

"I mean, I'm going with you. But, not out in the open. If we're doing this individually, this way instead of coordinated strikes, we have to plan for the eventuality that we'll need Winter Soldier, not James Barnes. I can't do that if I'm seen openly with Captain America and his Avengers. I've barely left this tower since the night I moved in. So, it won't be as widely known that I'm here. But, if I'm seen with you openly like that...?" He shook his head. "Until we get them all, I can't risk it."

"You want to get all of them together," Steve answered, because until those ten people were inside these walls, he would be thinking strategically first. "We don't have the resources, Bucky. It's not even about finding them and waiting, but we can't have nine strike teams in place. If we find others who were created under the project, we'll have to bring them in too. I wish we could do it your way, but I don't see it happening." He sighed. "What exactly does it mean for us? You tell me what you're thinking, what you want to do. I meant it when I said that I'm going to listen to you before any final decision is made."

"I want to get more intel before deciding." That was the biggest problem he was having. It was like they had one location and Steve was already to go in guns blazing. Moving to the window, he watched the city moving below them. Somewhere in all those crowds, Hydra was still out there, still moving pieces on a game board only they could see. "They're good at hiding in plain sight, living their covers for as long as it takes for the mission to be accomplished. Look at what happened with S.H.I.E.L.D. How many of those agents had been working within it for years, carrying out their duties with the same focus as their colleagues? Until the day that mission was over.

"And now they're underground again, hiding like cockroaches in the wall. All we have is one location out of nine. We don't know enough about...anything. Taking them out now, even if it doesn't tip our hand, may still be the trigger for Hydra to bury the others along with any other children there might be. This soon after Project Insight and the operations inside S.H.I.E.L.D. going public, they can't risk further exposure, especially if the Maximoff twins know anything that could be deemed of value like locations or operatives' faces."

"Getting more intel is a nice idea in theory, but how long do we wait?" Steve asked. "Say we get the locations of all of our kids, right? We still can go after one, two, maybe three if we go after the twins and another one. What happens to the rest? Will they disappear just as quickly?"

He rested his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward. "Give me options, Buck. Tell me what you'd do if you were in charge. I might not go along," he added with a small smile. This was hardly the first time that they sat around and discussed missions, or that they disagreed over their approach, but this time, it was personal, and Steve owed it to Bucky to give his opinion more weight than usual. "But, I am listening."

"Ideally?" Bucky asked, still watching the street below. "I'd get the intel on all of them: locations, associations, security, positions within the organization. I'd use that intel to set-up our own monitoring, pick up four or five of them and set up a situation that forced them to pull all of the others into one location, one location we could follow through the monitoring network."

He smirked, a cold calculating thing, at his own reflection in the glass. "Or I'd knock down every Hydra installation I could get a location on, make enough noise that their attention is on me, not the kids, hit enough installations a specific target can't be determined." He shrugged. "But, I can't give you a better plan than that because I don't have the intel with which to build it."

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. He was a man of action. He found his enemy, he fought his enemy and then moved onto the next. Sitting and waiting had never been his style, which might have explained the many fights he'd gotten into when he was younger. "You have two weeks. Take Natasha and Clint as back up. Find whatever you can, and after that, we regroup. That will give Tony and Bruce enough time to fix this place up and Sam can find some shrinks. I… I'll just punch bags until you tell me you need me," he said, echoing Bucky's words from before. "But, you get the intel without exposing yourself. If I find out that you're putting yourself in danger, I'll shut the op down. You find those locations, I go smash things. Their attention should stay on me. They know I want to take them down. We've started already. It won't change anything."

"Steve-" Turning to look back at his friend, Bucky frowned. That hadn't been what he expected. And he didn't miss what would be a jab from anyone else, but was...he didn't know what...from Steve. This was the other part that drove him nuts. After six months, they still hadn't quite found that rhythm again, that place where they fit together like well-made grooves the way they had before he fell and everything went to hell.

Bucky sighed and leaned back against the wall, arms folded. "You know, I get that I don't remember everything. But, I thought I had enough to know we don't do this. We don't give in to each other just to...I don't know. Stop an argument? I _know_ you've never backed down when you thought you were doing what was right, no matter what I said. So, what is this?"

"Because these are our kids, and I want to give them the best possible chance," Steve answered. "We can still do it the way I want to in two weeks. We'd have wasted a week, maybe. As is, we can't do what I want, because Tony and Bruce need time. I don't think that cutting off a possible avenue for a more efficient solution would be best for them."

He shook his head. "I'm not agreeing to stop an argument. I wouldn't do it. Right now, they are the most important thing and if I thought that you were endangering them in any way, I'd say it. Your idea is a good one and if I have to wait an extra week, then I will, not because I want to appease you, but because it might give them a better chance." He got up and stood in front of Bucky, his hands on Bucky's arms. "I am doing what is right. I'm listening to everyone, okay not everyone, but I'm listening to you, and deciding what's right."

"Which idea was that?" Bucky chuckled and looked up into eyes that had always been bluer than his, no serum needed. Looking up at Steve was still new. He'd only just gotten used to Steve being taller when he'd 'died'. That height difference was made more noticeable with the way Buck was leaning back. "I gave you two."

And neither had involved not putting himself in danger. He was the Winter Soldier. Going anywhere near Hydra in any capacity was putting himself in a danger far worse than just getting shot.

"The one where you get intel without getting more people looking for you. There's no need to get their attention," Steve said, "and that's why you're taking Natasha and Clint. I don't want you near those bases. I need you here when we bring them home. Crazy as this family will be, it's what we've got. Rest for today, talk to them and see where you want to go first, and I won't even complain that you're going out there so close after your surgery."

He squeezed the right arm, smiling. "You know this goes against everything I believe in, letting you be out there without me, but subtle I'm not, and it would be too obvious if they see me. Don't make me regret doing this. Get your ass back here safe and sound."

"Yes, sir." Bucky sketched a lazy salute, grinning like an idiot, mostly because he could. But, he sobered up a moment later and nodded. With his right hand, he mirrored the grip on Steve's arm that Steve had on him. "You're stuck with me, buddy."

Patting the side of Steve's neck, he pulled away to walk around Steve and get started. "Look at it this way," he threw back over his shoulder. "You're more subtle than Hulk in a china shop."

* * *

"Fifty bucks says this guy doesn't make it upstairs before he pops a cork in his pants." Barton's voice over the comms sounded as amused as Bucky was anxious.

"You're on. I'll put my money on Widow getting our man where and how we need him any day." Bucky's lips barely even moved as he lay motionless in position. Through the thermal scope on his rifle, he watched Romanoff as she maneuvered their mark upstairs to the bedroom and away from the office downstairs where Barton was slipping through the window. Bucky's vantage point across the street had a clear line of sight into the room. "Computer bag is on the floor by the desk. Phone on top of the desk. Make it quick."

They'd started with Stark's dead ends, the places where the digital trails had gone cold. But, it had become clear rather quickly that anything leading to Hydra's abandoned locations in the States was out of their reach. In the wake of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s fall, the US Air Force had swept through and taken control of any base they could get intel on, S.H.I.E.L.D. and Hydra alike. Anything of use had been taken: tech, weapons, personnel, data. After the first couple were a bust, Bucky made the call to let Stark try to unravel those threads, while he took Romanoff and Barton to Russia.

Winter Soldier had first been created in Russia. If they'd started the experiments aimed at getting his progeny in the early fifties, chances were there were some clues in the older facilities...or some of those working on the project might still be alive and able to lead them to more modern facilities. Bucky was willing to bet certain types of assets had been moved out of the States after the debacle with Project Insight and all the recent issues with von Strucker and the twins. Only Winter Soldier would consider tracking them to Russia and, as far as they knew, he had no recollection of having children at all.

Their mistake.

Starting with the facility in Kansk where Stark's information trail ended, they set to work tracking down names. As it turned out, a couple of Romanoff's contacts, the same ones who'd given her the file on Winter Soldier that Steve had used to track him a year ago, had proved useful. Russia was keeping quiet about it. But, after seeing some of the Cold War information that had been released when S.H.I.E.L.D. went down, they started their own internal housecleaning to root out what remained of Hydra inside their own intelligence agencies. Bucky was sure they'd kept some of the juiciest identities for themselves, to punish or turn. But, amid the scraps they were able to give Romanoff, there was enough that it started to jog loose a few of Bucky's memories and he was able to identify faces that seemed familiar.

From there, they simply followed the connections. From a man in Zelenogorsk to a woman in Zheleznogorsk, which led them to Dikson. All of which had led them to this man, a genetics expert in Norilsk.

They'd been watching him for three days. Every morning, he was picked up by a dark, unmarked van. The van brought him back every night. Neighbors thought it was a ride-share to work. Bucky's money was on it being covert transportation to a secret facility. He was a little surprised the man was allowed to live outside the facility at all. But, he supposed, since he was fairly prominent in his field, it was for appearances' sake. Tonight they were planting a GPS tracker in his phone and dropping a worm on his laptop that would feed all his data back to Stark for JARVIS to parse. The next day, they'd follow the van and see where they wound up. Between Stark and Romanoff, their signals were bouncing through so many hubs and satellites that Bucky, who still only had basic understanding of these things, got dizzy just following the diagrams when Romanoff had showed him.

The two weeks Steve had given him to complete this part of the mission were almost up thanks to the three days they'd wasted following trails stateside. They only had a couple more days before Bucky had a feeling his Captain was going to send flying monkeys to retrieve his Sergeant. In a way, it was nice to know Steve cared this much. But, Bucky had been mothered for months now. This mission was letting him breathe.

And reminding him there was still a job he could do.

"Hawkeye, I've got another bet for you." Bucky watched Natasha giggle brainlessly as their mark pushed her against the wall of the bedroom. "Fifty bucks says Widow puts this guy down and joins you before you even get the tracker in, let alone Iron Man's worm."

It was a simple plan. Romanoff went in as the mark's hired girl for the night. Barton waited until the lower floor of the house was empty before slipping in to hack the tech -- and Bucky didn't care what Stark said about no one using the word 'hack' anymore. It's what they were doing. Once upstairs, Romanoff would put their guy to sleep and slip downstairs to help Barton. Then they'd get out and head to the rendezvous point.

Bucky was running overwatch and calling the shots from the roof across the street. As the mark might have come into contact with either Winter Soldier or a drugged out and pregnant Bucky Barnes -- the thought of being pregnant still made him shudder -- Bucky couldn't risk being seen, in case it tipped their hand.

Or brought a Hydra recovery team down on their heads, trying to bring him back into the snake pit.

"Bite me, Soldat. You've got the easy job."

"Watching your six is never an easy job." The fact his rifle was filled with something Romanoff called 'Icers' and said Fury had managed to get his hands on just after S.H.I.E.L.D. fell didn't make it easier. Bucky wasn't used to non-lethal ammunition, didn't trust it, especially if it came out of S.H.I.E.L.D. R&D, no matter how much Fury could vouch for them. "Need I remind you of Dikson five days ago?"

"That wasn't my fault!"

"Didn't say it was. Just not easy. Now, hurry up."

"Target is down." Romanoff's voice came over the line and Bucky could hear in her voice that she was holding back laughter. "Can't take you boys anywhere, can I?"

"You can take us anywhere you want," Bucky said with a silent chuckle. "As long as it includes getting that worm onto this guy's computer and getting on our way before that sedative wears off."

"Oh, baby," Romanoff purred into the comms. Her smirk didn't show up on the thermal, but Bucky could imagine it. "My kind of date."

"You want a date, convince Hawkeye to get off his ass and finally ask you," he shot back. "Now, let's move."

Romanoff's soft chuckles weren't enough to cover Barton's squawk of indignation as the three spies finished up for the night.

* * *

While this mission was doing a lot of things to prove to Bucky he could still be useful, could do something good with the skills he'd gained through war and espionage, it had also created a problem.

He wasn't sleeping.

At all.

Six months ago, when he'd found Steve or Steve had found him or however that had gone, Bucky had come with a lot of baggage, most of which reared its head during the hours when his brain was free to roam at its own will. His dreams were, more often than not, filled with nightmares and waking dreams in which he was still trying to kill his best friend. Unless he kept himself awake to the point of exhaustion, he couldn't sleep more than a couple hours before his bloody past caught up to him. It had been one of the reasons he'd first balked at moving into the tower. The better security and JARVIS' ability to monitor him and alert the others if need be had been the argument that finally won him over.

Before his arm had malfunctioned and they'd found a uterus in his body, he'd been starting to have good nights, one or two nights a week when he could sleep straight through the night without waking in terror or mid-murder attempt. Those good nights had ended when he found out Hydra had turned him into some kind of baby machine to produce their ultimate army. He'd started dreaming of flaming knives ripping him open and crying babies soaked in blood. He didn't even know if it was real memories finally shaken loose or twisted images fed to him by his own fear and anger, colored by his memories of having the stump of his arm removed in order to replace it with a fully cybernetic one.

Since they'd come to Russia, it had gotten worse. The third night they'd been here, he'd woken with an arrow pointed at his eye, his own knife pressed to Romanoff's throat as he straddled her hips and one of Widow's bites stuck to his left arm. It had been the shock from the bite that had thrown him out of the nightmare. After that, he took middle watch, making sure he had a reason to be awake and sleep too lightly for dreams. Eventually, he got to sitting up with whomever was on last watch, until finally he was barely napping for a bit, then getting up during first watch, sitting second watch, and sitting up through most of third watch.

That had been going on for the last two days and he could tell by Romanoff's face when he brought her a mug of coffee during first watch she knew what he was doing.

"You should go to bed earlier tonight," she told him softly as she took the mug he offered. "We've got a long day tomorrow."

"I'll sleep in a bit."

"No you won't. You'll find some topic of conversation that keeps me distracted until it's your shift, just like you have the last two nights. And don't think it's escaped notice you're sitting up through most of Clint's watch, either. You need to take care of yourself, Barnes. Or, I have to do it for you."

"Steve talked to you before we left, didn't he?" Bucky shook his head.

"Maybe. Or maybe I can just see how much you mean to him and I owe him."

"Anyone ever tell you you're a chronic meddler, Agent Romanoff."

"Natasha. And, meddling is kind of our business." She smiled at him and Bucky was suddenly afraid, despite the apparent softness of the expression. "Besides. You owe me for Odessa."

"Odessa?" Frowning, he took a sip of his own coffee as he tried to place the reference.

"Few years back," she elaborated, taking pity on his lack of recall. "The scar on my left hip?" Bucky nodded, remembering the puckered skin that had been revealed when the three of them were changing clothes before the op in Dikson. "Winter Soldier was tasked to kill the scientist I was tasked with extracting from the Ukraine. Winter Soldier won that round. Shot went through me to kill the target."

Bucky ducked his head and focused on the mug he held between his hands. It was really only warming the right hand, but the illusion of comfort was enough. "Sorry."

"Don't be. I was impressed. And it wasn't your fault. Neither Clint nor I will blame you for what you did under their control. We know what it's like," she admitted quietly, glancing at Barton where he slept. Or, at least pretended to. Bucky suspected he was often just awake and listening for at least half of the first watch. The past two weeks hadn't exactly made them best friends the way Steve was. But, the close quarters and mission focus had forced them to develop a rhythm quickly. It was still a start, but there was a measure of trust and respect there that wouldn't have been after just another six months in the tower. "We'll have your back through the nightmares, Barnes-"

"Bucky."

"James." She smirked at him. "We'll have your back through the nightmares. You won't hurt either of us. I promise."

"Natasha..."

"No. Sleep. You might be leading this mission, but I'm in charge of seeing to your well-being. We need you alert tomorrow."

"Just listen to her," Barton threw in, not moving or opening his eyes. "I'm tired of seeing the bags under your eyes. Even super soldiers need to sleep more than you have been. And there's no point in arguing once she gets like this."

"Two against one, is it?" Bucky could only shake his head. Steve had some good friends if they were willing to sit on Bucky for him like this.

"Yes." Two voices spoke in the familiar unison of two people in sync the way he and Steve used to be.

"Fine. I'll try to sleep. But, if I wake up to one or both of you dead in the morning, don't say I didn't warn you."

"Like you could, old man."

Smacking the back of Barton's head, Bucky settled into his own bedroll with a sigh. He lay on his back wondering what he'd ever done to deserve all the things he'd been given since breaking free of Hydra's hold. The only thing he could come up with in answer, though, was befriending Steve so many decades ago.

* * *

It was little surprise to Bucky when the van they were tracking ended its route at what remained of the old gulag that had been attached to the mining settlement in Norilsk during the war. He couldn't remember if there had also been a sharaska back then, as well. But, it would explain Hydra's use of the area. Officially Russia's version of the S.S.R. had been disbanded in 1953, the gulag closed shortly after. Unofficially, Hydra had its hands in everything and if the facility was closed, it made the perfect location for a secret research operation.

"Looks like they're just moving in," Barton murmured at his side. The three of them were watching the operation below from up on the ridge.

"Or moving out," Bucky breathed.

"I can go down and find out," Natasha offered.

"No. There's too many of them down there for you to go in alone, or in tandem."

Through his scope, Bucky watched the man they'd been following approach a truck waiting outside the entrance to the lower levels of the facility. When he got closer, a Hydra agent got out of the back, accompanied by what looked like a young girl. She had brown hair cut to just below chin length, long enough to pin back in a fight, and Bucky imagined she'd have blue eyes the color of the sky after a long rain; because he didn't need to see the eyes to recognize the jut of a chin that reminded him of a scrappy kid standing up to the bullies three times his size in the back alleys of Brooklyn.

Hissing softly, he fought to breathe for a moment before passing the scope to Barton. "Can you make out what they're saying?"

The look he received was askance, but Barton took the scope anyway. Even his eyesight needed the boost for this kind of detail from the height they were at. "Looks like he's telling the goon with a gun to take her down to the holding area with the others. Guess they're staying, not going."

"Good." That would give them time to get back in touch with Steve and the others, plan something. And if there were more than one of the kids there, perfect.

They spent the rest of the day up on the ridge, passing the scope back and forth as they watched operations. Natasha got as close as Bucky would let her -- and probably more -- to get a feel for the security around the perimeter. Barton would periodically 'listen in' on conversations at the entrance, while Bucky extrapolated from what he knew of the war and after on where things were in the different buildings they could see, based on how trucks and people moved. By the time the sun reached its lowest point in the sky, which wouldn't be for long this far north at this time of year, they had determined a number of kids, all between ten and sixteen, were being held at the base to be prepped for transport elsewhere. Bucky was only reasonably certain the girl he'd seen was his and Steve's child. The others may or may not be. They wouldn't know until they went in. The chances were that many of the children weren't theirs. It didn't seem likely he'd been pregnant -- _breathe, Barnes_ \-- that many times in the last two decades. Not if Winter Soldier was also running around Odessa and other places killing people.

Bucky was just about to tell the others it was time to go when one last truck was unloaded, the contents of which made Bucky freeze.

Cryo tanks.

They were taking cryo tanks off this latest truck.

"We need to get back and call Cap," he whispered tightly. "Now."

* * *

"Are you okay?" was Steve's first question as soon as Bucky ended the 'too professional' report. He hated that they were having this conversation over the phone. Those tanks had freaked Bucky out and Steve couldn't blame him. There was no way that he was going to let Hydra do that to children. "Never mind, I know the answer to that," he said, before Bucky could say anything.

"This is too big. The moment you take those kids, they will be on high alert." If his plan would make it hard to keep the element of surprise, these new events would rip apart any pretense that they didn't know about the Evolution Initiative or Project Miracle Child. "You'll have to do this on your own, while we get the two here," he finally said with a sigh. "Let me talk to Tony and Hill. We'll need identities for these children, doctors, families willing to take them in. Stay put, and I'm going to call you back in three hours. We'll coordinate the retrievals once I know more." He paused for a moment. "And Bucky, good job. Those children are lucky to have you on their side."

They said their goodbyes quickly and then it was one phone call after another. Thankfully, Hill and Pepper were even more efficient than Tony when it came to organizing things. Steve didn't even want to know how Maria still had enough contacts to find the necessary agents who had the ability to take in the children and more importantly to watch over them 24/7. As much as they wanted to keep them together and safe, they didn't have the resources to provide the help the children needed. Agents who could keep an eye on them while providing a more personal touch would serve them best.

The entire process took two hours and fifty-three minutes. At the specified time, Steve called back. "Everything is set up, but we have a problem," he said. "As far as we can tell, Hydra has control of Norilsk and the towns that have been annexed to it in the past few years. In twenty-four hours Fury can have a plane in Dudinka ready to take you out. He will stay there for forty-eight hours before he raises suspicions. That means that you have three days to get those kids and move them. This is where the problem comes in. There are no roads, Buck. It's like Germany and those damn mountains all over again. It's 80.3 Km. With the weather conditions, the children and Hydra, you'll need at least 20 hours to walk there. You need to find a truck big enough to carry them and you have to do it fast. I'll make arrangements to go to West Point in the morning. With the time difference, we'll get all of them out before Hydra can do anything about it." And then, they'd start looking for the older ones. Lack of surprise didn't mean that Steve would give up.

On the other end of the line, Bucky was quiet for a moment, shaking his head at his best friend, even though Steve couldn't see him. "Captain." Always the titles and codenames on transmissions, even for Steve. "I know. I was made here. Tested in this area. More importantly, I'm the one on the ground here."

It wasn't that he didn't appreciate Steve's concern. He did. He appreciated it more than he would ever be able to express, having one person he knew actually gave a damn what happened to him. But, he could hear the memories in Steve's voice. Mountains and ice and Hydra, a dangerous op. He knew exactly where Steve's mind was going and the last thing they needed was for Steve to be worrying about him instead of having his mind on his own op.

"Alright. Earliest you can get to there is in what? Fifteen hours? That'll give us time to set some traps and steal a truck before going in. We're going to have to make a lot of noise. If the complex underground is as large as I think it is, it's just too big for us not to be made. Better if we go in loud and crash this party in style. Tell Patches to have the engines running. We'll be there with bells on. Just don't tell him that's my codename for him," he added with a laugh.

Steve didn't say that he'd be willing to get in a car and drive to West Point this very second if it made things easier. In a few hours they could have those kids, but he wouldn't put Bucky and all of the other children at risk. "Tomorrow morning is fine, and if you need more time, you let me know."

He couldn't find it in himself to joke, still tried though. "You need to tell at least one person these codenames, because no one else will know what you're talking about. Patches?" He chuckled. "Sunglasses is more his style."

"Didn't have the glasses when I met him." Bucky hesitated, then continued in a far more quiet tone than he'd been using up to now. "Watch your six, Cap. Keep your head in the game. I'll check in again when we're on the road."

Steve wanted to say more, but nothing was ever 100% secure, even when Tony did his best. And besides what was there to say? 'Come back alive? I can't lose you again'. Bucky knew that already. "Remember what you promised me. Don't make me come all the way there to bring you home. I'll see you soon."

* * *

"They are going to be fine," Tony said as he drove his Audi Q7 through the Palisades Expressway, going to West Point. His Iron Man suit was in the trunk of the car, while Steve had his shield in the backseat and within reach. "We have doctors meeting them in England on their stop over."

"I know. They'll be fine," Steve repeated. It wasn't an easy mission, but all three were operatives that had pulled off much harder ops. The years of experiments made Bucky faster, stronger, almost as good as Steve. Natasha and Clint had both proven that very little could take them down. There was no reason to worry, but since finding Bucky again, he was always afraid of losing his best friend once more.

As children, Bucky had always tried to protect him, even when Steve didn't really need the protection. As young men, they stood up for each other, no matter the outcome. After the rescue in Italy, they worked together. Rank might have made Steve Bucky's CO, but in practice, they discussed things and worked out the problems in a mission together. Sure, he'd worried, but never had Steve wanted to keep Bucky from an op to protect him. 

Things had changed now. Steve hated leaving Bucky for any reason. He'd spent all of his free time at the tower, in their apartment. More than one meeting had been scheduled at the tower, so he didn't have to go far. 

It wasn't fair to Bucky, he knew that much. Bucky would never be happy staying locked up in a golden tower. The implications of being a damsel in distress were even worse now that they had discovered Hydra had turned him into an incubator. None of that stopped Steve from wanting to keep Bucky safely hidden away.

"Fury will get them on that plane if something goes wrong," Tony said, ignoring Steve's answer and the ensuing silence.

"I know," Steve repeated.

"And we'll get these kids out without a problem, although I blame them and you for making me drive an SUV. I don't like SUVs, they are big and ugly and I like my Spyder," Tony continued.

"I know we will. I also know who you blame and what you like to drive. No one said you had to go out and buy a new car for this op," Steve answered.

"For someone who knows everything, you're acting like an idiot," Tony said. He raised his glasses and looked at the other man for a moment, before his eyes were on the road again. "I get it, you know? After New York, I worked night and day to make sure Pepper was protected, but you know what? I got so focused on what I was doing that I fucked up. I was too tired, too illogical and I gave my address to the entire world. Turns out it wouldn't have matter since they already knew where I lived, but the point is that I wasn't thinking straight."

"Do you have a point?" Steve asked.

"Pepper means the world to me. She's the one person I can't live without, but as much as I want to protect her, I've learned that I can't obsess over her safety night and day or we'll both be unhappy." Tony sighed. "Come on, Cap, don't tell me you don't see the point."

Steve turned his head to stare at Tony. They had learned to get along since New York, but they didn't do heart-to-heart. At best they exchanged a few words that carried bigger meanings. This was completely different for them. "I've lost him twice already. The first time they told me he was dead, I flew into enemy territory. The second time, I did nothing and this happened. I can't let it happen again, Tony. He means-" He cut himself off, but he might as well had continued.

"The world to you, Yeah, got that, Cap. But, he's a big boy, who's survived Germans, Russians, Hydra, crazy scientists. If you keep watching him like you're Hawkeye, he's going to snap and he won't be wrong."

"You're doing 90, the speed limit is 55." It was easier to focus on that than what Tony was saying.

"I can afford the ticket," Tony said, dismissing the implied criticism. "The guy is obviously very capable, but you're on him all the time. You need to let him do his thing without hovering. He's more at risk with you playing mother hen than if he's working with us."

"He needed the arm replaced," Steve pointed out.

"And we replaced it, and you're not letting up. I'm surprised you didn't send me up to West Point with Bruce while you flew to Russia."

"There was no time," Steve muttered as he looked out the window.

Tony snorted. "Color me surprised. Were you like this before the war?" he asked after a moment.

Steve shook his head. "No." He chuckled as he thought back to those days. "He tried to play mother hen with me. It never worked out really well. I'm stubborn."

"You? Nah? I never would have guessed." Tony raised his eyebrows. "So you got your usual prissy self when he got protective, but now you're being worse than he used to be and expect him to be attached to your hip. You think it's all nice and well and he should thank you for it, only he won't. Slowly, he'll learn to hate you, hate that you keep him prisoner just as much as Hydra, hate that he's got no control."

"I CAN'T…" Steve stopped and lowered his voice. "I can't lose him, Tony. He's everything I've got."

"Being a little selfish there, Cap, not that I blame you, he's a pretty good looking fellow, if you like men," Tony said.

Steve huffed. "You're such a jerk."

"But I got you to smile. You smile a lot when you think about the way things used to be and not so much when you deal with the present. Maybe you should talk to him, explain why you're being such an idiot and get back to what makes you smile, because Cap, this gig can't be all that you have. We all need more."

"Natasha put you up to this, didn't she?" Steve said after a moment.

Tony shrugged. "We've all been worried about you and Barnes has been through enough without his best friend turning into a selfish idiot. Take it from someone who's failed miserably, trying to protect them never works unless you talk to them." He exited the expressway and slowed down. "Four miles and we're at the academy, ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be. My kids, Tony. Mine and Bucky's. I… it's insane and scary and exciting and-"

"Weird, it's really weird, Steve. Remember all I sent you to read about gender identity, gender roles, all those nice things you were supposed to learn about?" Tony said.

"Don't worry about it. Bucky is fine," Steve answered. "He's a guy, he knows he's a guy. We all know he's a guy."

"And you treat him like the damsel in distress and you're the white knight in a shining armor. Your eyes light up when you say the word 'kids' or 'children'. He really must care for you, because I'd have shot you in the balls and let's see if the serum helps with that, and here we are. Ready to rock and roll?"

"I was ready the moment you started talking," Steve answered, although there wasn't anything to do to get ready.

"Oh yes, I know. We go in, we talk. If the General helps us, then good and if he doesn't, we subdue him, expose him as Hydra and move onto the next officer, and we go down the chain of command until we find someone that helps us." He lowered the glass and spoke with the cadet on duty, who didn't even blink when he found out that Iron Man and Captain America were here. Tony decided that he didn't like cadets after all, but at least they were waved in and directed toward the main building, a gigantic stone building that looked quite impressive even at a distance. "You know Barnes would have a problem with this plan. Hell, I have a plan and I'm not exactly known for subtlety."

"If you had a problem with the plan, you should have said something before," Steve pointed out.

Tony laughed. "I did and you ignored me. I'm here and I have your back, Cap, but you might want to ease up. Just because he's not willing to hand over two cadets without an explanation, it doesn't make him Hydra."

"Tony, the mission isn't to hurt the General. I know how to talk to men in uniform. Don't worry, okay?" he said as he got out of the car.

"Sure, but I'm still suiting up," Tony answered.

Steve chuckled, but didn't stop him from getting the suit out and putting it on. The looks they got from some of the cadets were the least of their problems. At least he left the face plate up; it seemed more appropriate when visiting a general. "You're the master of subtlety."

"Oh yeah, because no one notices that shield you're carrying or the Adonis look or the tight shirts you've been wearing. Do you purposely buy them a size smaller to give other men complexes? Because it's working. Even Bruce has talked about exercising and we all know it's not because the Hulk needs to bulk up."

Steve chuckled. "Sure, you got me, you've discovered my evil plan. I want to inspire people to exercise." He looked at Tony. "And you sound like you might have a thing for my muscles. I like you, I really do, but you're really not my type."

"Trust me, I know, and I spend my nights crying myself to sleep that you won't join me and Pepper for a threesome, but neither of us is dark and broody… oh wait, I am." He raised his arms. "I even have _two_ metal arms and play hero. I'm pretty sure I am your type."

Steve shook his head. "Sorry, you're too young. I'm not interested in anyone under eighty."

"So you _are_ interested in dark and broody. Good to know, Cap," Tony said as a cadet held the door open for them. Tony winked at the woman and then continued on to the General's office

"Does it matter what I answer?" Steve asked.

"Of course. If you say yes, I can make fun of you for pining after your best friend. If you say no, I can make fun of you for being blind. As you can see, it matters greatly," Tony answered.

Steve snorted. "And this is why I don't answer your questions."

"To be fair, mine was a statement that you chose to interpret as a question," Tony said.

"He's just a friend, Tony. Now focus or we'll look really bad if we're the ones getting hurt while retrieving two kids." Steve knocked on the door and smiled when they were granted access. "General Carlton, thank you for seeing us."

"Captain Rogers, Mr. Stark." The General pointed to the chairs on the other side of his desk. "Have a seat."

Tony looked at the chair doubtfully. It looked sturdy, but narrow. "I'll stand, but thank you."

The General nodded. "What can I do for you?"

"It's a sensitive matter, Sir," Steve started. "We have reason to believe that two of your cadets have information on Hydra. They've had legends created so that they would be admitted, but we believe that they can lead us to high ranking Hydra members." They had decided to use this story since Talbot was still rounding up Hydra agents. They couldn't count on the Army-Air Force rivalry to stop Carlton from handing over the kids.

"Shouldn't the US government deal with this?" Carlton asked.

"Probably. But right now you have the Air Force running around, giving orders, because of the Iron Patriot suit," Tony started, "when they shouldn't even be operating on US soil. Even with that, what have they done? Spent months interviewing people while the Avengers clean up around the world."

"General, if it becomes known that West Point admitted the children of Hydra agents, the school's reputation will be tarnished," Steve added. "But we'd be more than happy to let people know how vital your role was in obtaining these two individuals."

"And we have a very good PR team," Tony added with a smirk.

"The Army gave me a purpose, General, but since then we're not just facing Nazis. We are facing dangers that are not only global but interplanetary," Steve said in earnest. "We need these two cadets. We also need to know if anyone tries to find them, anything that can lead us to more bases will save lives.

Carlton leaned over his desk and stared at Steve. "If I do this, what guarantee will I have that West Point isn't dragged into the middle of a war you people seem to have with the Air Force, and with a few generals on Capitol Hill?"

"I can't give you any. You'd know I'd be lying if I said otherwise. I can give you my word as an officer that we will do our best to protect the school, the cadets and its reputation. I know it's not much, but Sir, this school is here to prepare the best officers possible. If you let these students stay here, you contaminate all of them. There's no knowing what they are telling the others, what covert role they might have." Steve stared the man down, despite their ranks. "You will be doing the right thing by handing them over. You will be protecting your country."

Carlton tapped on the desk, thinking about the request for a moment. "Will you give me their names?"

"Sophia and Matthew LeBlanc, Sir," Steve answered.

Carlton reached for his phone. "Have fourth class cadets Matthew and Sophia LeBlanc report at the front gate at eleven hundred hours. I also need their room numbers." He waited for the answer, put the phone down and got up. "They are in class. It'll give you thirty minutes to take their belonging with you. My secretary can direct you to their rooms. I'll start a random inspection at the same time to see if anyone has anything that might indicate their alliance to Hydra, which I doubt, but it doesn't hurt to be thorough and we like our cadets to keep a clean room. They will walk to the gate. You need to have them in your car before they reach it. As far as I'm concerned, they left on their own volition."

Steve nodded as he stood up as well. "Understood, Sir."

"I'll create a virtual trail showing that they were planning on leaving," Tony added. "Once I have their computers, you'll find the emails on your servers."

"Thank you for your help, General," Steve said.

"Don't make me regret this, Captain, and Godspeed," he said.

"Goodbye, Sir." Steve opened the door for Tony. They got the directions from the secretary, but declined the offer of an escort. It took much less than thirty minutes. The rooms were small and Spartan, with no personal touch. They took to support their cover story, but the computers would probably be the only useful items.

"Time to go," Steve said as they collected the last few things from Sophia's room. When they got back to the car, Steve lowered the backseat to make the trunk bigger. That would give them enough room for both children and Tony's suit.

"You drive and I'll meet you there," Tony said, before flying off.

"He'll meet me there," Steve mumbled. They hadn't decided where there would be, but he drove toward the gate at the posted 25 miles per hour until he found Tony standing in the middle of the road. "I guess this is there." He pulled to the side of the road.

They had discussed it while collecting the twins' possessions. They would make it look like they had car trouble. When the kids got close, they would inject the anesthetic Bruce had given them, put them in the car, cover them with a blanket they had and drive off. It was a simple plan, except it required Tony to take his suit off, or at least part of it, and Tony didn't like it. "You need your hand suit-free for the injection."

"If they ruin my manicure, I'll bill you," Tony answered.

"Sure, because with the money you throw away, the manicure is the problem," Steve answered with a chuckle.

"You don't know what a good manicure costs," Tony answered.

"You're right; I don't, and I'm perfectly happy that way." Steve tuned Tony out as he started discussing different types of manicures. He'd learned that a bored Tony meant a rambling Tony, usually talking about the most irrelevant and inane things. Instead he went to the front of the car and raised the hood. He wasn't sure how to even pretend that he was fixing the car. In his days, cars had engines and parts, now they were computers and there was little to see. Fortunately, they didn't have to wait long.

Tony kept talking as the twins approached. "And there, brave cadets, do you know about cars? I keep telling Mr. Fossil Man that I'm the engineer and I should fix it, but he thinks he's more capable, because he fixed cars in Germany. Either one of you studies mechanical engineering? Maybe he'll let you fix it."

Steve watched carefully from his spot. He saw the first signs of recognition and a glimpse of what look like hatred, but it was quickly covered up.

"I'm sorry, Sir, but we're late. We need to report to the front gate," Matthew answered as they kept walking.

Tony waited until the twins were standing between them. He took a step closer and it was all Steve needed to immobilize the boy and inject him. Tony had less finesse. He was used to shooting missiles and fight alien lately. Instead he hit Sophia using too much strength. She fell on the ground and hit her head. "Oops, that's going to hurt," he said, catching her as she fell down.

"You were supposed to inject her, not give her a concussion," Steve said with a reproachful tone in his voice.

"Hey, it worked," Tony answered. "You can give her the nice shot now that she's down. We still need the zip ties. I don't know how their metabolism will react to the drug." He bent down to pick up the boy and put him in the back of the car. He tied both Matthew's wrists and ankles, before taking the suit off. By the time he was done, Sophia was tied up and in the car as well. Steve tossed the blanket over them and then they were on their way to the City.

* * *

While Captain America and Iron Man were bantering their way into West Point, Winter Soldier, Black Widow, and Hawkeye were preparing to take down Hydra’s operation in Norilsk. None of them had slept in the hours since Bucky had talked to Steve. There’d been too much to do. They’d had to steal a truck and supplies, lay a few traps, plan their approach and the initial assault. They all knew they would have to make the best use of the element of surprise because with only three of them they needed to disable as many as they could as fast as they could if they were ever to get the kids out safely. Subtlety wasn’t going to cut it this time and once they announced their presence, most of any plan would be out the window.

So, they kept it simple. While the two former S.H.I.E.L.D. agents made an explosive appearance at the front of the facility, Bucky scaled the rest of the way down the mountain to the roof of that part of the building that was above aground. Natasha and Barton were going to make as much noise as possible on their way to the main control center where they would try to let loose another variant of the same worm they’d been dropping into every Hydra computer they got their hands on this far. Hopefully, even if they had to torch this facility and any records they might have on the other kids, the worm would manage to send intel they could use back to Stark for later.

Bucky’s task was to slip inside more quietly, still trying to appease Steve’s worries by keeping as much attention from himself as they could manage. There was no access inside from the roof. So, he had to go in through an upper window, of which there were only two on the far side of the building from where the action was and neither was open. Rappelling partway down the wall between them, he slid a small mirror out of one of the many pockets in his tactical uniform and held it out just enough to be able to see into each window. Both rooms seemed empty, the occupants most likely running for the front. He didn’t expect it to work when he tried one to see if it was unlocked.

But, it was.

“I’m in,” he spoke quietly into the comms, his voice slightly distorted by the facemask he wore. They’d decided it was best for him to go in as much like Hydra's asset as possible to get the kids’ trust more quickly.

The upper floor was disturbingly empty. Bucky could only hope it was because of the distraction the others were providing. It wasn’t until he reached the ground floor that he ran into his first Hydra personnel. The two guards he surprised didn’t even have time to make a sound before he put them down.

He wasn’t using non-lethal ammunition this time.

Hearing a noise coming from around the corner, he ducked into the nearest doorway and had to bite his lip to keep from making a sound of his own when he saw the group that came around the corner.

Two Hydra agents carried the girl he’d seen earlier between them as they followed after a scared looking man in a white coat. Up close like this, he could see exactly how much she looked like Steve, not the chiseled features he bore now, but the slightly softer, slimmer features he’d been born with and that stubborn set of the jaw as she tried her best to walk for herself. She was clearly drugged, her eyes glazed in a way that brought back his own hazy memories of before and after being frozen. But, she still tried to pull away from the men who held her, tried to hold herself up in a way that was painfully familiar to Bucky.

Bracing himself against the wall, he tried to breathe as the realization that was Steve’s daughter, that was _his_ daughter with Steve, hit him like a blow to the solar plexus. That little girl, that little fighter, was _their_ little girl.

That was their little girl and he’d be damned if Hydra got to keep her.

The small group was disappearing into a door at the end of the hall and Bucky followed silently after. The door opened onto a set of stairs that led down to a long catwalk overlooking what had once been a mine of some kind. The catwalk ran between the stairs he’d just come down and an elevator – what was it with Hydra and catwalks? He had to wait until the elevator began to move and then he pulled open the doors and grabbed onto the elevator cable to follow the car up. He was guessing, but he felt like they were halfway up the mountain again when the elevator finally stopped. Once again, he waited for them to exit the elevator before using his left arm to pull away a corner of the elevator floor so that he could slip into the car and open the doors.

Bucky slid into the shadows to one side of the elevator as he took in his new surroundings.

Instead of a corridor, there was only a single large room. The men carrying his daughter had stopped, waiting while the scientist in the white coat fiddled with the controls on a cryogenic suspension tank that was placed in the center of the room. Another pair of men were carrying another cryo tank through a door on the other side of the room. From the sounds, it seemed there was a truck idling outside.

“Bring her.” The scientist gestured to the men holding his daughter, who struggled weakly and tried to dig her feet into the ground.

Two shots. One to the back of the head for each man who dared lay hands on his daughter.

“Winter Soldier. Stand down.” The order confirmed for him that this man had been one of those who’d performed his maintenance at some point. He’d suspected as much when he saw the cryo tanks. The man was also clearly under the impression the order would be followed if the haughty jut of his chin was any indication.

“Nyet.” Bucky placed another bullet right through the scientist’s forehead.

“Ziminy Soldat.” A soft voice drew his attention to where his daughter had fallen and now seemed determined to push herself up to face him. “Pochemu?”

“Why, what?” he asked gently, pointing to the tank. The switch to English was deliberate. He suspected they would have begun teaching her several languages from birth and he needed a quick way of judging how much training she’d already had.

“Why haven’t you killed me?” He could see the emotions warring in her eyes, subdued by the drugs still in her body. But, she met his look as fiercely as she could. “The others did not fight. They obeyed and went to sleep as we were told. I have disobeyed orders.”

“I’m not here to kill you, dushen'ka. I don’t like being put to sleep like that, either. Can you stand?” He couldn’t help smiling as she pushed herself up, glad for the mask hiding the expression so she would not misunderstand. When she wobbled a bit and grabbed for his hand to steady herself, he nodded. “Very good. Let’s go.”

Bucky made his way toward the door the other tanks had been taken through, careful to keep her close and behind him. At the door, he let go, telling her to stay down and close to the wall. Then, Bucky stepped out, purposefully drawing the attention of the four men loading three cryo tanks onto a truck.

It wasn’t a long fight. The first two men went down with Bucky’s knives sticking through their throats before they even knew he was there. The third man had time to shout before Bucky broke his neck. One shot from the fourth man’s gun glanced off Bucky’s metal arm just before Bucky fired three rounds to his heart in rapid succession. When it was over, he turned to find his daughter watching with rapt attention. “Get in the truck, dushen'ka.”

When the drugs would wear off and she'd realize they were never letting her come back here, Bucky suspected she would be less accommodating. But, for now, she climbed dutifully into the passenger side of the cab while he went to check on the tanks.

“Soldat?” Barton’s voice came over the comms. “Package has been delivered. You ready to blow this popsicle stand?”

“Change of plans. They already got the kids into tanks and loaded onto a truck. I’ve got the tanks and the youngest girl. She’s been drugged to prep her for freezing. Looks like there’s a hidden road on the other side of the mountain. We’ll have to meet you on the road.”

“Roger that. We’ll meet you at the first rendezvous point. Hawkeye out.”

“No side trips,” Bucky admonished, securing the rear door of the truck. He went around to the cab and climbed in beside his daughter. It wasn’t a surprise to find her asleep. He remembered how strong those drugs had to be in order to beat his metabolism and make him malleable enough to put on ice. Reaching over, he made sure her seat belt was secure.

On impulse, he gently brushed her hair back from her face before starting up the truck. He had a long drive to come to terms with the fact he had his daughter with him and would be able to take her home to Steve.

Natasha and Barton were waiting at the first rendezvous point when Bucky pulled up to the side of the abandoned farmhouse. They’d previously agreed on meeting here in case they were separated at the gulag. Looking around, he wasn’t sure how anyone had thought they could farm this land in the first place. But, he was glad enough for the shelter. The girl, his daughter, was still asleep in the passenger seat, Hydra’s drugs doing their work too well, he thought.

“What’s the plan?” Barton was leaning against the side of the truck they’d stolen originally, intending to take the kids to the airstrip where Fury would be waiting. Bucky climbed out of the truck he was driving and mirrored his position while Natasha made her way around to the back.

“The tanks won’t fit in that truck and we don’t have time to take them through the process of waking up properly if we’re going to make our extraction.” Bucky hated leaving the kids in the tanks. But, he wouldn’t put their lives at risk by rushing the defrost procedures. “I think our best bet is to take this one and switch off driving the way we originally planned.”

“I’ll take first shift,” Natasha declared, coming back around to join them. “Clint drove here. You both need to sleep. I think you should fit in the back. You can leave the girl up front with me.”

Bucky shook his head. “If she wakes up to someone new, she might panic and we don’t have time to risk that kind of delay.” He wasn’t sure he wanted to leave her alone, either. Now that he had her, Bucky didn’t want to let her out of his sight. “The drugs will keep her out a while longer. I’ll take her and get in back with the others. Barton, it’s up to you if you want to squeeze in with us or sleep up front.”

* * *

Tony had started modifying the floor Steve and Bucky were occupying the moment Steve mentioned bringing the children back. Tony knew the Captain well enough to know that at best they could delay his plans, but he would get what he wanted and it was just easier to get ready than fight the inevitable.

It was a very good thing, because by the time they went out to pick up the two cadets, the floor was completely remodeled. All access to the hallway and the elevators had been closed off with concrete walls. The hallway had only one door that led into Steve's apartment. From inside the apartment, you had a second door that led to where all of their children would stay. Tony had divided it into bedrooms, bathrooms and common areas. Everything was controlled by JARVIS, but with no access to the AI. If they wanted to escape, they'd have to get through a metal door, with bars inside that went into the floor and wall, they'd have to break it down without attracting the attention of JARVIS or two super soldiers, then they'd have to break into JARVIS' programming to gain access to the elevator and finally go through the security downstairs. If they managed to do all of that, then the Avengers didn't deserve to keep them prisoners… or as guests, like Steve called them.

With everything in place, Steve was now in his apartment with two of his children not too far away and Bucky and another on their way here. He debated what to do. He would have liked to have Bucky here for their first meeting. He would have liked it if Hydra hadn't brainwashed them. He would have liked a great many things, but he wasn't getting any of that.

Sighing, he got up. "JARVIS, I want you to record everything for later and make the video available just to me, Bucky, Tony and Bruce." JARVIS would have done so anyway, but Steve liked to make things explicit and avoid problems with Tony if he decided to play games with the footage. "Also where are they?"

"The recordings will be locked except as specified, Captain and they are both in one of the bedrooms, talking. I have a full recording of the conversation. Would you like to see it?"

Steve thought for a moment and then shook his head. "No, let's give them some privacy, but if they talk about any escape attempt, let me know." He punched the code and leaned closer for the retina scan. The door opened into the living room and gave him access to the rest of the apartment. Even knowing their location, he stepped carefully through the apartment. Nothing seemed to have been touched, not even a chair had been moved, or if it had, it had been returned to its place. 

He hadn't listened to JARVIS' videos, but it was impossible not to overhear now.

"What do you think they will do to us?" Sophia asked.

"Don't know. They'll probably torture us, trying to get information, then kill us," Matthew answered, "but we won't say anything.

"If one of us gets too close to talking, the other will find a way to kill him, deal?"

"No one is killing anyone," Steve said as he stepped inside.

Both teens tensed, but neither moved. The boy was lying on the bed, while the girl was sitting close to him. It could have been him and Bucky, although when he really looked at them, he could see both of them in each one. "Then why did you capture us?" Sophia asked.

The dynamic between the two made Steve smile. Matthew had that intensity that he always associated with Bucky, observing and staying quiet. Sophia was the one to speak up, sitting up a little straighter as if accusing him of having done something wrong.

"It's a long story," he said, as he stepped inside and sat on the second bed. "It's one that I didn't want to tell you without Bucky here. He's a friend of mine. A really good friend, but you know him by a different name: the Winter Soldier."

They might have been trained by Hydra, but they were still too new and the reaction was visible once again. Confusion was mixed to suspicion. The Winter Soldier had to be some sort of idol for these kids. "He was very interested in speaking to you and so was I. This is why you're here. No killing, no torturing."

"You're lying," she told him.

Steve smiled at her and shook his head. "No, Sophia, I don't lie. I'm telling you the truth. I will always tell you the truth. In fact, I think you should know the entire truth." He saw the iPads that the kids had been given. Their internet was monitored and if they tried to contact someone, they might get new leads, but until now, they had barely looked at the tablet. "JARVIS, could you show us the Project Miracle Child file in the tablet?"

"Of course, Captain."

This time the reaction was obvious from both of them, jumping at the voice. "That's JARVIS. He's an AI and he controls everything. Here." He passed them the tablet and watched as they read. Matthew looked almost bored, while Sophia was a little less detached, but their eyes darted over the words, moving at a speed that was probably higher than the norm, but not higher than Steve's, scrolling down faster than they should if their disinterest were real.

"You're lying. This is absurd," Matthew said, speaking to him directly for the first time.

"Which part? That Hydra is capable of doing such a thing?" he asked with false innocence. "I would think that you better than anyone would know what they are capable of. That you were experiments? You have your memories, right? Where did you grow up? Did you have parents or did they bring you up in a lab?"

"You're lying," Matthew repeated sounding more like a child out of his comfort zone than a West Point cadet. 

"Am I? And why would I do that? We've already captured you. We could surrender you to the Air Force and let them deal with you," Steve said.

"You could try to become our friend to get information," Sophia pointed out.

Steve chuckled. "If I knew enough to come and find you at West Point, I already got the information. We have shut down the program. All the children still with Hydra have been rescued and given to families to bring them up, while our children will be brought here."

"He's lying to us," he told Sophia. "Don't listen to him."

"They have our ID numbers," she said quietly. "How would they know that?"

"You don't have to believe me, but your sister will be here soon enough and so will Bucky. Until then, why don't you tell me what you like? I can make us dinner or order out," Steve said.

"We have no preferences," Matthew answered.

"That's fine." Steve was used to those answers as well. They had happened often when Bucky had first arrived. "All right. I'll be back in a bit with some food."

A little bit had turned into over an hour and he could tell that the twins were surprised that he had returned at all. "Come on, let's sit at the dinner table." He wanted them to have choices, but he was not going to let them hide in one room. "I've got a few different things."

Sophia looked at the different containers from different restaurants. "For our entire platoon?"

Steve shrugged. "I didn't know what you liked and I eat a lot." She wasn't wrong. He'd gotten three dishes each from the Chinese, Italian, Thai, Spanish, French, Ethiopian, Japanese and Indian restaurants. There was water and soda as well. "Sit down and see what you like." He opened all the containers and took some food from all twenty-four containers, before sitting down, even though the kids were still standing up.

Matthew stared, but it was Sophia that spoke up again. "Have you been starving?"

Steve chuckled. "Not since 1944, but no, I need to eat a lot because of my metabolism and now you know that none of the food is poisoned. Now you can try anything."

"Or your metabolism protects you from the poisons," Sophia answered.

"There is that, but I told you that I don't want to hurt you." He nodded at the chairs. "I know you don't trust me, but I'm sure Hydra would have told you how annoyingly noble I am. I wouldn't hurt you unless you attack me. So sit and try the food for now."

The twins looked at each other. There was the briefest nod from Sophia, before they both took the furthest chairs and tentatively began to pick on the food. Steve watched carefully as they tried not to react to the new flavors, but some they clearly disliked. Some they enjoyed more than others. They didn't say a word, but it was fine. Steve would give them the time they needed while providing as many choices as he could until one day they'd be able to choose the right things for themselves.

* * *

It was well past midnight and into pre-dawn when Bucky and the others arrived back at the tower. In the end, Barton had stayed up front and Bucky had slept in the back, his arms wrapped protectively around his daughter. They'd switched off driving every few hours, which slowed them down a little, but gave Bucky a chance to check on the other kids in the cryo tanks and allowed them to keep driving straight through without having to stop for more than a few minutes at a time. Natasha had spoken with Fury while Barton helped Bucky secure the children on the plane.

When they arrived at the tower, Natasha had taken charge of the cryo-tanks. She would confer with Stark and Banner to start the process of waking the others up and finding out which ones were theirs. The doctors Stark had sent to meet them in London had confirmed as best they could that all the children were in good health. But, it had been decided it would be best to wait until they had transported them the rest of the way before walking them up. Transporting so many recovering from the normal sleep sickness that followed the defrosting process would have been worse for them than letting them sleep.

Bucky hated it.

Unable to do anything about it, he took his daughter upstairs to their rooms and put her to bed. By the time they had reached the airfield, she had been awake. But, the drugs must have worn off some because she had pushed away from Bucky’s arm, still wrapped protectively around her while she’d slept.

She hadn’t spoken again.

Still, she didn't protest when Bucky lifted her into his arms to carry her upstairs. Maybe that was a good sign?

Or maybe she'd just been given a healthy respect for Hydra's asset, the Winter Soldier.

After telling her this room was hers and that it was secure, no one would come to put her to sleep again, he made his way to the part of the floor that had been his and Steve's original apartment. He wasn't surprised at all to find Steve up and waiting for him in the living room. Dropping the rest of his things on the floor by the door, Bucky tried to smirk as he moved further into the room to join his friend. "Honey, I'm home."

Steve had watched Bucky carry their child into her new home with something he'd never felt before: envy. He had managed to have a few civil conversations with the twins, but the closest he'd gotten to touch them was when he'd kidnapped them. He had kept watching as Bucky had entered the secure side of the apartment as if he could magically see through walls. When Bucky came back out, he offered a smile. "You brought her home. You brought them all home. We'll have DNA done to see if any more are ours when they are out of cryo." Natasha had told him that they had run DNA tests on the little girl to confirm what Bucky seemed to know. "How were you so certain that she was ours?"

Bucky let out a rough huff of laughter. "I recognized the stubborn set of her jaw when she was standing up for herself. She looked so much like you when we were kids, there wasn't a question. Couldn't have been anyone else's."

Exhaling sharply, the initial mirth very short-lived, he moved to sit on the couch as the adrenaline of the last few days left him entirely. He ran his hands through his hair before leaning forward on his knees, the weight of the world on his shoulders too much for him just then. "I couldn't bring them out of the tanks. It would have been worse for them. If we'd rushed or done it wrong..." Bucky shook his head. "I couldn't take them out."

Steve joined him on the couch and squeezed Bucky's shoulder. "I wasn't blaming you. You did the right thing, and this isn't the same thing they did to you. When we wake them up, there won't be any missions or brainwashing. We'll make sure they are all right."

He smiled at the image Bucky was painting of their daughter. "Stubborn like me? I told you, you'll have no problem relating to them. You know exactly how to deal with that and that's good because you'll have to talk to them. All of them. You were right. Sophia and Matt see me as Enemy Number One. I'm sure they were checking you out when you brought her to her room. They really want to meet you. I really think they would be more likely to listen if the Winter Soldier is their father."

Bucky snorted. "Winter Soldier is no decent kind of father to anyone."

For one moment, he had the strangest desire to just lean into Steve, to lean on his friend literally and let him help bear the burden that had rested so heavily on Bucky from the moment he'd found out what Hydra had done to him. He trusted that Steve meant it when he said they were in this together. But, Bucky hadn't been able to truly let Steve share that burden at least as long as he'd been aware of himself after Project Insight.

Yet, now, he just wanted to lean over and let Steve take over for a little while.

"She hasn't spoken a word since I put her on the truck." Instead of giving in, he forced himself to finish giving the strangest report of his life. "She asked me if I was there to kill her for disobeying and not wanting to be put to sleep. Winter Soldier punished those who did not obey Hydra. She wouldn't let me touch her on the plane once the drugs they'd given her wore off. She only did now because she was too tired to object."

"Damn it," he said softly. Steve wasn't one to swear, but this were extraordinary circumstances. "I hate what they have done to these children. To you." He put an arm around Bucky's shoulder. He couldn't touch their kids, but he could hold the person that had meant everything to him for so long. "They respect the Winter Soldier and they might fear him. It will help at the beginning, but in the end, they have Bucky Barnes as a father, and you are the best man I've ever known. They are lucky."

He sighed as his previous thoughts came to mind again. "When we found out, you said I was too calm. Maybe I was. I thought how hard could this be? They are children. We can get through to them, but when they saw me that first time, I could see hate in their eyes. I talked to them, I showed them everything and the only time they looked even remotely interested was when I mentioned the Winter Soldier. Then I saw you with her and you were carrying her while they stand clear of me, like they are waiting for me to hurt them, and for the first time in my life I was jealous. I've never been jealous before, and I was jealous that you could hold a little girl that has been abused all of her life." He ran a hand over his face, leaving one arm around Bucky. "I'm sorry if I was too detached. I thought we could do it. I still know we can. I just didn't know that this would turn out to be the hardest thing I've ever done."

Bucky looked up, eyes searching Steve's face and seeing what he'd wanted to see weeks ago. The problem was that now he wished there was a way for Steve to keep that infuriating calm. "From where I'm sitting, they look pretty lucky to have Steve Rogers for a father. I know I'm lucky to have him for a friend who puts up with my shit when I take out my anger at...everything out on him."

Sighing, he gave in to his own wants and the encouragement of Steve's arm. He leaned his head against Steve's and rested his hand on Steve's knee. "I killed in front of her, Steve. She looked so much like you and I couldn't watch them touch her, even just to hold her up as she walked. I just saw red and I _was_ that weapon again, Hydra's asset, the ghost, Winter Soldier. I killed them and she asked if I was there to kill her. But, I couldn't- She looked like you and I suddenly got it that she was _ours_ , that even if I loathe what they did to me, even if the thought of having given birth still repulses me, it doesn't matter because it got me her and she's ours, not theirs. They don't get to have her."

Steve smiled. "You've always been biased." He turned his head and kissed Bucky's hair, but froze as he realized what he'd done. As close as they had been, he would have never done something like that before, but despite how unusual it was, it felt natural. When Bucky didn't complain or comment, he kept talking. "I'd do anything for you. Listening to you rant hurts because I know you're hurting. No other reason. I'll always be here to listen."

He squeezed Bucky's shoulder gently. "You're not him, Bucky. You aren't the Winter Soldier. You were a father who was protecting his daughter. She'll understand too. Maybe not now, but give her some time." He wished he could do more. He felt like lately the only thing he did was talking and falling short. "I can't show you that, but they can. These children can show you that you are so much more than a weapon. In a few hours, you can talk to them, all of them, and see what I mean." He ducked his head so he could look at Bucky. Seeing those blue eyes stare back always make him feel better. "Do you want to rest? I'm sure you were on high alert the entire time."

Bucky shook his head. "I don't think I can sleep," he admitted on another sigh, scrubbing at his face with his hand. He didn't even recognize how he echoed the way Steve had done just that moments ago. "I'm tired but there's too much in my head. It wouldn't be a good night. You go ahead. You shouldn't lose sleep because I can't."

"Night?" He looked at the sky. "At best we have a dawn. No night. Let me get you some coffee. We can talk, cook. Those kids eat almost as much as me. We can start now and maybe we'll be done by the time they are awake. I want to make sure that we're there when the twins find … what's her name?"

"She doesn't have one. None of the kids we found at the Gulag do. It's a dehumanizing tactic. It's why I was never called Winter Soldier to my face by my handlers. No name, no identity. No identity, no independence. I've been calling her dushen'ka."

"How did they refer to you then?" Steve didn't know why he kept asking for details that made him want to look for those scientists and hurt them. "And what does dushen'ka mean?"

Bucky stared at Steve, wondering if his friend really wanted to know. Even after so many months of healing, there were still details he hadn't shared because he didn't want Steve to know that kind of pain. "To my face?" he asked, licking his lips nervously as he made his decision. "It was just 'you' or occasionally 'soldat', soldier. Before they wiped me the first time Zola would call me Sergeant Barnes. I think he enjoyed taunting me with a name I couldn't remember was mine. But, once I was completely theirs? Just 'you'. Among themselves they would refer to me as 'the asset'."

He smiled, knowing his next explanation would be one Steve liked. "Dushen'ka means 'sweetheart'. I couldn't help myself."

"Sweetheart. I like that. I used Matt instead of Matthew once. He looked at me like he wanted to shoot daggers at me. I thought it was me. They seem to distrust everything I say and accuse me of lying every other word. But maybe it's more. If he hasn't had a name until recently, he might be guarding whatever identity he has." Steve smiled back. "And you are so much more than an asset. They had no idea that sooner or later you would break free. You would have, even without me. It was only a matter of time."

Since he hadn't gotten any complaints before, he kissed Bucky's temple. "Come on. It's time to start breakfast. Five of us, I'd say a couple of dozen eggs should be a nice start."

* * *

Steve and Bucky set up the table in the kids' dining room. Steve was all for choices, but he wanted to give them some resemblance of a family and, while nowadays it seemed normal to eat on a couch, sitting in front of a TV, he thought that the experience would do them good after being stuck in cages like guinea pigs.

It didn't take long for them to hear the first noises. "Do you want to meet them before checking on the little one?"

"Will it sound horrible if I say I don't think I want to meet them?" Bucky couldn't help the flash of panic that crossed his face, eyes wide and flitting back and forth looking for an exit he knew he'd never take. If he never met them, it wouldn't be real and they couldn't ask him that same question that was likely to haunt him for the rest of his life: _Are you here to kill me?_

"It sounds human." Too much was happening around them and while they could face anything together, children - their children seemed to be their Achilles' heel.

Forcing himself to breathe, Bucky shook his head. "Never mind. Let's do this. It might be better to meet them first, yeah."

Steve put down the last plate and squeezed Bucky's arm, before going to the door. "Sophia, Matthew, breakfast is ready."

He stepped back inside and it didn't take long before they came in. Sophia was the first, while Matthew stayed back, eyes darting between the two of them. Every time Steve saw the dynamic, he couldn't help but being reminded of him and Bucky, Sophia always first, always speaking up, a habit that probably had cost her with Hydra from what Bucky had said, while Matthew stayed back, ready to step forward when needed.

"Guys, I want you to meet Bucky," he said, smiling. "I know you wanted to meet him-"

"We wanted to meet the Winter Soldier," Sophia said interrupting him. "And even want is incorrect. We needed some confirmation." Her eyes were on Bucky now, as if trying to decide if he was the Winter Soldier or not. "Is it true? Are you our parents?"

Bucky stood still and let her watch him for a moment. He'd washed the blood off his tac gear. But, he hadn't taken the time to change into civilian clothes when he got home. He'd needed the touchstone that was spending time with Steve doing something as normal as cooking breakfast far more than he'd needed to change his clothes. All he had done was remove his face mask and all of his weapons, even if it had taken longer to do that than to cook a meal for two super soldiers and their super soldier offspring.

Or had seemed like.

When the silence was just short of reaching too long, he nodded. "It is true."

No explanations or further information. He knew that too much at once would be either overwhelming, or a sign of falsehoods. It was better to let them ask questions, to realize he would answer them.

Steve looked between the three. This was going to be a game of silence apparently. "Bucky is as talkative as Matt," he said, looking at Sophia and waiting for the inevitable defense.

"He talks when he has to," she answered.

Steve smiled, because Hydra or not, they were strangely predictable. "Is that everything you wanted to ask? Because Bucky brought home your sister and she'll be awake soon. She's only ten, and I'm sure you don't want to hurt her."

"There's no way for us to verify what you say. You control our sources of information through the AI," Sophia said, but she was ignoring Steve in favor of looking at Bucky. "You're supposed to be Hydra's greatest asset. How could you do this? How could you go to _him_?" she spat out the last word. "He's our enemy."

"Because I was his friend long before I was Hydra's prisoner and unwilling weapon," Bucky stated simply. He would ignore the venom in her voice for now. There was a long road ahead of them and anger was not going to get through it. "Is that what you truly wanted to know? If not, go ahead and ask what you will."

"We were not prisoners," Matthew said, coldly.

"Maybe not, but Bucky just rescued children who were Hydra's prisoners. They have no names and were about to be put in cryo tanks, frozen so that we couldn't get to them," Steve said. "You weren't prisoners, but you didn't have names either, did you? Sophia mentioned your identification numbers. That's how they referred to you, didn't they? You couldn't leave if you wanted."

"We didn't want to. You took us," Sophia gave the right answer, or at least the expected one, but there was a note of doubt in her voice. She also never looked away from Bucky. "How is this even possible? They told us our parents died for the cause, wishing that we followed in their footsteps but instead you're...our mother?"

"Don't let them confuse you. They are making these things up," Matthew told her.

Sophia looked at him, rolling her eyes. "Look at him. He _is_ the Winter Soldier. They are not making that up. And he is Captain America. They aren't making that part up either. They knew our numbers. No one but Hydra knew them."

"Maybe it's a test."

She snorted. "With Captain America? I don't think so, Matthew."

"I have a question for you," Steve said, taking a step closer. "What did you call each other before they gave you names?"

"We were not allowed to -" Sophia bit her lip, cutting herself off.

"But you are now," Steve said gently. He looked between the two, smiling at them. "I know you're stuck in a house for now, but you do have choices and you are allowed to make decision. If you don't like these names, find names you like, names that fit you."

"That's ridiculous," Sophia said.

"Why? Names are given by parents. We - Bucky and I are your parents even if it is strange. We could come up with names, but you're not babies anymore. You are your own person. You can pick your names."

There was that silent exchange that the twins did often and then Sophia was looking at Steve again. "Names are irrelevant and we have two perfectly good ones."

"If that's what you want." He took another step closer bringing him at arm's length. "We only want what's best for you," he said, and then gently he reached out and covered her cheek. As soon as he did, Sophia tensed, reaching for a gun that wasn't behind her back anymore, while Matthew moved closer, arms up ready to strike.

"Stand down, Matvey." Bucky stepped in between the young man and Steve. It didn't matter that Steve could protect himself. "He's not hurting her and I don't want to have to hurt you."

"Buck, it's all right," Steve said. "No one is hurting anyone. I know you don't like the idea, but you are my children and I'll do anything to protect you."

"You _are_ lying. You hate us, because we're Hydra," Sophia said.

Steve didn't think about this time and put his arms around her. "That's not true, baby. I could never hate you. I hate what they did to you, but never you." Letting go, he squeezed Bucky's arm and then moved closer to Matthew. "You want to protect her, don't you? You watched them hurt her. I'm guessing she simply couldn't stay quiet and you told her that it was easier not to say anything, but she never learned. Do you know how I know this?"

Matthew was looking at him with even more intensity than usual. "Hydra didn't tell you. How?"

"Hydra didn't know or you'd been punished too." It was a guess on his part, but it made sense with everything they had seen. "Because Bucky used to tell me the same thing and I'd never shut up. I was so small and I got so many beatings and yet he still does it, even though I'm perfectly capable of defending myself." He put his hand on Matthew's should and squeezed gently. "We'll help you protect her. We will protect each other."

"And he still hasn't learned not to mouth off like a punk in seventy plus years. So, that's what you have to look forward to," Bucky added with a smirk for Steve.

Then he turned to Sophia. "And I'll take my turn to guess. Half the time you disobey orders to save him because he always takes the more dangerous assignments, the darker jobs, so that you won't have to share the nightmares that keep him awake at night."

"We don't have nightmares," Sophia said, raising her chin, "but if we did… if we did, he'd have more. Someone has to watch out for him."

"I don't need anyone to watch out for me," Matthew said, but he didn't pull away from the arm that had found a way around his shoulder. He looked up at Steve. "Are there really more of us?"

"Yes, we think we have ten children, but there were more that don't belong to us. We're trying to find homes for everyone, but we want our children with us, at least the ones we can find. And there's a little girl already in the other room. Maybe it's time to meet her," he said, but this time he was looking at Bucky.

Bucky nodded and stepped around Steve and the twins to make his way to the other bedroom where he found the little girl in question awake and waiting for him in silence. "Good morning. It's time for breakfast and there are some people I'd like you to meet." He held out his hand. "Will you come with me?"

For the first time, he saw his own calculating gaze staring out from a face that still looked so much like Steve's. They stood like that for several minutes, silent, sizing each other up. It struck him how small she was for her age and he wondered if that was the serum or if this had not been the first time these children were placed in cryostasis. Or, if like Steve, she would get her size later. Just when he was about to give up, her smaller hand wrapped around his and she nodded.

Bucky smiled.

Leading her into the dining room, he crouched down to her level, still holding her hand in his. "This is your family, dushen'ka."

"Devushka does not have family," she said firmly. "Family is a weakness and Hydra has trained devushka not to be weak, to be strong like Ziminy Soldat."

"Devushka? Is that what they called you?" Bucky waited for her nod before looking up at Steve. He didn't know what languages Sophia and Matthew had been taught. But, he knew Steve didn't speak Russian. "It means 'the girl'. It's not a name."

"Names are selfish. I will be part of something, not lost and alone."

"Nyet, dushen'ka. Dóchka moi. You will not be lost and alone," he told her gently. "Because you have a family. You are _my_ family, the family of the Ziminy Soldat. This is your family. This is your brother, Matthew, and your sister, Sophia." Standing, he moved around behind her -- slowly -- to rest his hand lightly on one shoulder. "And this is your father, Steve Rogers."

Steve crouched in front of her, but raised his eyes to meet Bucky's. "This is Bucky Barnes' family," he said with a smile, before turning to her. His smile got even bigger as he looked at her. It was like watching in a mirror that showed you the past. No wonder Bucky had known that she was theirs. "Hey, sweetie. I think we might have found your first mission. After breakfast, we'll get you a list of names and Sophia and Matthew can help you pick out a name you like."

She moved back until she was pressed against Bucky and could go no further. Steve wasn't surprised anymore, but he could not get used to the idea that his children were afraid of him. "It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. Besides I heard that you were very strong and brave, standing up to the people who wanted to put you to sleep. That's a very brave thing you."

Steve turned his head when he heard the intake of breath from Sophia. He didn't like the way she looked, her mask of indifference gone and replaced by fear and from the way she was looking at Matthew, it wasn't for herself. He stood up and closed his fingers around her arms. "It's just a memory. It won't happen again. We won't let them hurt you."

"They weren't trying to," she said, but she was still looking at her brother.

"What happened?" Steve asked gently.

She looked up at him. "They used to put us in cryo when we needed to travel and it was easier to bring in medical equipment than children with no names. One time, something went wrong with the tank and they couldn't wake Matthew up. They weren't trying to hurt us, something went wrong," she insisted.

Steve didn't argue with her but instead hugged her. This time, when Matthew came closer it was to rest a hand on her shoulder. "No one is putting anyone in tanks and no one is hurting anyone." He let go of her, even if he'd happily held her forever, before picking up the little one with a grin. He ran a soothing hand over her back as she tensed. "And you, Missy, get to pick whatever you want to eat for being so brave. Guys, why don't you start putting food on the plates, before it goes cold."

"And we can see you're not poisoning us," Matthew said, but he sounded almost like he was joking.

Steve turned to Bucky and grinned. "At least they know that. Come on, Buck, let's see how much food we can put away."

* * *

They had spent a few hours with the kids. Steve would have been happy to stay there the entire day, but things were getting tense more and more and it was time for them to give the children some breathing room. It wasn't until they were alone in their private living room that Steve realized that he needed it too.

He stared at Bucky for a few moments, and for once he truly didn't know what to say or where to start. "We need to make a list of names that mean something to us, so no matter what they pick, one day they will have a connection with our families." Starting with the practical things pushed away that feeling of inadequacy. 

"They are afraid of me, Buck. Every time I touch them or hug them, I can feel them tense, I can see them wince. I.." He started to pace. "Am I pushing too much? Too fast? Is Russian a good idea? I don't know if we should insist on English to cut them off from that part of their life. And they love the Winter Soldier. Not James Barnes, but the Winter Soldier. It's like… like they are disappointed that you aren't killing me right there.

He stopped at shook his head. "I can assure you that all the books on child psychology Tony has sent me don't cover this situation."

"Stark's books are useless." Bucky snorted. "These aren't kids who sneak out to meet their boyfriends or play hooky."

Crossing the room, he stood right in front of Steve and put both hands on his shoulders. "Listen to me." He stared those couple inches or so up at his best friend. "It's been one day. It will get better. You know it will because this is what you had to go through with me. May take a while longer, since they don't have the memories to build on. But, it will happen. It will. Trust me if you can't trust that because there's no way in hell I'm letting those bastards steal our kids from us that way. Okay?"

His hands slid down to grip Steve's arms. "Give them the list, but don't make them stick to it. They need to choose who they are every bit as much as I did. They will have a connection with our families because they're ours, no matter what Hydra's done to them, they're mini-versions of us. They'll come around, Steve. No one with my blood can say no to you for long." Bucky smirked. "Except maybe Becca, but she never really meant it."

"I wasn't trying to limit her, but she is ten and she thinks names are evil. I thought that maybe a list would make it less daunting. It's different with Sophia and Matt. Maybe they want to keep those names." He smiled softly. "They really are like us, aren't they? I have a feeling that they won't be as hard to win over. They already have an allegiance to someone other than Hydra. They have an allegiance to each other."

He sighed. "I know you're right, but I'm not used to being the bad guy. You were never afraid of me." He gripped Bucky's forearm. "How are you doing? Feeling a little better about having a family? What did you think of the twins?"

"Why should I be afraid of you when you refused to fight me even when I was trying to beat you to a bloody pulp?" Bucky asked, censure dripping from his tone. More than anything else, the idea of Steve just letting himself be killed still gave Bucky nightmares. Dropping his hands, he shrugged. "I'm...still not fine with how it was done. My part in it still makes me want to be sick if I think about it too long. But... it's not their fault. And, they're ours. It's enough for now."

Bucky ran a hand through his hair and then headed for the kitchen. Getting drunk might not be an option, but drinking was still something familiar and calming. "The twins, remind me of us during the war, both trying to protect the other, even if you didn't really need the same protection in the same way anymore."

Steve followed Bucky into the kitchen. "If I thought that letting them beat me up would help, I'd let them," he said, knowing that it wasn't what Bucky wanted to hear, but it was still true. "They shouldn't have to go through any of that. They are children. Our children."

He took a seat at the kitchen table and looked up at Bucky. "How are we going to do this, Buck? We're bound to get questions. They are already wondering why you are helping me. I don't think your answer will satisfy them for long. How-" He shook his head. "You find a girl, you get married, you have children. How do we show them normal when we have no idea what normal is? How do I explain to them that I loved a woman in 1944, but when I woke up, you were the only one I missed? How do we explain what we are to each other when they ask again? Because I'm not sure anyone in this time seems to get it." He lowered his head. "Some days I don't know if I understand."

"Their lives are never going to be normal, either." Sighing, Bucky pulled two tumblers down from the cupboard before he went to retrieve a bottle of whiskey. "Even once we break their conditioning, they've been through that. They've been raised by people who _accidentally_ mess up the unfreezing process. And they're our children. They'll have to use every bit of training they've received, everything we can give them, because Hydra won't let them just leave and go live their lives."

He poured each of them a drink as he spoke. Then carried the glasses over to the table. "What don't you understand, Steve?" He set one drink in front of Steve before taking a seat next to him. "We've been joined at the hip since we met. I always figured eventually I'd have to settle down or Ma would never forgive me. But, since I also always envisioned you'd be married and living next door, I was okay with that. We were always going to raise our kids together as one family. Although, if you want more, you can go find yourself a woman because as soon as I can be down for the count for a few days, I'm getting rid of this thing."

Steve wrapped a hand around the glass, but he made no attempt to drink from it. "Are you listening to what I'm saying?" This was one thing they never discussed: their relationship. They just were and after seventy years they had fallen back on old habits, but things had changed. "You died and it never occurred to me to find a way out of that plane. Sinking it was my choice. I wake up and the one person I miss is you. I had the chance for different. I had a year to find a woman. Natasha certainly tried, but no one was ever right and even if I'd gone out with someone, it would never be more, because I had already found the perfect partner: you. That's what I don't understand. I should want this with some woman, but I don't. I want this, us, our family, our children." Steve looked at Bucky with a frown. For a moment, he thought that Bucky meant the arm, but that would make no sense. "What are you getting rid of?"

"This!" Bucky pointed at his abdomen. "This thing they stuck inside me to make me even more like Frankenstein's monster than I was already. I may be stuck with the arm and the fucked up cocktail of God knows what that functions as Zola's version of the serum. But, this I can control."

Tossing back a large swallow of his drink, he set the glass down on the table a little harder than he intended. "Why should you want it with a woman?" He raised his eyes to Steve's, his own thoughts carefully shuttered behind them. "This is the enlightened era where it's almost more normal for a kid to have two daddies than it is to be a good Irish Catholic boy."

"So this would be a bad time to mention that I'd really like to bring one up from birth?" Steve said with a straight face, before the hint of a smile appeared on his face. "Did you really expect me to argue with you? You do whatever you need to and you're still a good looking fella. I can't even hate those experiments they did on you, because that serum has kept you alive for this long. Otherwise, I would have lost you long ago."

Steve looked down again and shrugged. "Because we're not from this era. I never thought about us that way." He looked up and sighed. "It never occurred to me that even back then it wasn't normal that we shared a bed until you were deployed, or that we snuggled while sleeping on the ground during a war, or that you might have had your girls but came home to me. It was just what we did, except it's not what everyone else does. And since you've been back, we've touched, hugged, kissed in ways that it's not even normal for us, and at first it was the fact that you needed human touch, but afterwards? We have no excuse. I have no reason other that I wanted to, that it felt right. I love you. Always have. I don't know if this is what it feels to be in love, because I've never known anything else. I don't remember a day in my adult life when you weren't the most important person."

"I did," Bucky said quietly, taking his turn at looking down at the glass in front of him. "Thought about us..." He shrugged. "Never thought I stood a chance."

"So what you're saying is that this family is eighty years in the making, I was too blind to see it and you-" Steve covered Bucky's hand with his until their eyes met again. "You're still the most important person in my life. You are everything for me. Always have been. I want to have a family with you, I want to drink with you even though we can't get drunk. I want to grow old with you if that's even possible. I want to raise our children with you. I want to do everything we haven't done in the past with you, but right now, I really want to kiss you. Is that okay?"

"Always did have more stubbornness than sense." Bucky almost smiled, watching their two hands. But, when he looked up again, he sighed. "I've wanted to kiss you ever since we were fifteen. But, you deserve better than-" He waved at himself, his arm, his head, and his abdomen. "Than something barely human."

"You were human at fifteen and you are still so very human." Steve didn't want to argue, though. Instead, he leaned closer and pressed his lips against Bucky's in the first kiss he'd ever initiated in his life. It was supposed to be a gentle promise that everything would be okay, but he couldn't stop, he couldn't pull away. The chair screeched against the tiles as he moved closer. He held Bucky with a hand behind his head and he poured every emotion he'd suppressed for the past few years into one kiss.

A sound embarrassingly close to a whimper got caught in Bucky's throat as he reached for Steve. He fisted his right hand in Steve's shirt, pulling him closer even as Steve himself moved closer. Fifteen years of secret longing, plus or minus a lifetime, should have left him hungry for everything he could get in this moment -- just in case it never happened again. But, other than the tight grip he had on Steve's shirt, he kissed back with a tenderness that had always been reserved for Steve alone.

Steve ignored the buzzing in his pocket. He'd been so blind, searching for something that had always been within his reach and now he didn't want to pull away.

"Captain, Sir is on the way with Doctor Banner. They have identified two more children and they are bringing them to the apartment."

Steve groaned as he pulled back. "Worst timing… thank you, JARVIS." He was still looking at Bucky though. "You should have said something sooner. You know I'm clueless when it comes to these things. You know how you kept saying that you didn't want to settle down? Think you're ready now?"

"If I'd said something sooner, you'd have done something stupidly noble to get us thrown in jail or court martialed," Bucky teased, reluctantly letting Steve's shirt slip through his fingers. "Wasn't going to settle down with some random dame, punk. Just told ya I always planned on raising our kids together."

Leaning over, he kissed Steve briefly. "We'll finish this conversation later. We've got two more kids to meet."

Steve chuckled. "Probably both." He gave Bucky a blinding smile. "We are raising our children together. Come on. Let's meet them."

* * *

They went through the process again. Two boys this time. One sixteen and one fourteen. There were introductions, scared looks for Steve, awed looks for Bucky. The difference was a lot more words from Tony. When they were finally alone, Steve looked at Bucky for a moment, while the two teens sat on the couch, looking all around. "What do you think about asking the others to come out here? We can make dinner together." There would be a lot of knives to watch out for, but with the two of them and JARVIS, they should be able to watch everyone. "Maybe watch a movie together. Do you guys like popcorn?"

The two boys looked at him like he was speaking a different language. "I don't know what that is," the older one said.

"Right, popcorn and a movie and names." Definitely names. Steve liked names and using generic pronouns was going to get old really soon. He let Bucky call the rest of the kids while he got pen and paper and jotted down about twenty names per gender. The names for their daughter were easier to find. With two mothers and Bucky's three sisters, he already had a fourth of the list. He added friends and relatives. The list for the boys was a lot more general.

Bucky must have taken the time to explain what was going on since Steve was able to finish the two lists just before they arrived. "Great timing. Matt, sit here with your siblings. I have a list of names and perhaps you can help them pick something they like. You can pick something you like if you want. JARVIS can help you with more names if you want. Sophia, start looking for a movie that's appropriate for everyone. We're introducing you siblings to popcorn."

Sophia ventured a smile. "Not the healthiest."

"And yet so very good. In fact, you can have soda to go with it," Steve said. 

"Capitalist excess," Matt said.

"If we had it during the Depression, it's not excess," Steve said, chuckling. "Now names," he added, gesturing toward the other children. He looked at Bucky with a smile. "Yell if they annoy you too much. I'll be right back."

* * *

The children were all back in their apartment. Steve took a shower and then he walked into Bucky's room wearing nothing but his boxers and a tee shirt. It was his normal night attire and he wasn't about to change and make things awkward. He leaned against the door frame and looked at Bucky for a moment.

His friend.

His best friend.

Who was currently looking back without saying a word. They had never needed many words, understanding each other with simple looks. That was how close they were and now they were parents together, and maybe more. Steve wanted to know what this more could be.

He stepped inside and lay on top of the blanket like he'd done so many other nights, but tonight felt different. "That went better than expected. No one was killed, we finished a movie, even if with the sarcastic comments."

"Half of which came from us," Bucky pointed out, turning his head to grin at Steve. "Okay, maybe that was just me. I never did learn to shut up during the film."

It had been a good evening, a strange evening. He'd come in, stripped down to the boxers he normally slept in himself, and laid there for the short time it had taken Steve to join him. It was probably weird to say, or think, but he'd known Steve was going to come, for whatever reason or excuse. Smiling softly, he stared at his friend.

"So..."

"So…" He didn't know how they went from children to being a couple. Usually, things were done in the reverse order. "I... I'm… unable to speak apparently," he said with a huff. "I don't know how to do this, Bucky, but I know what I want. I want you in any way I can have you and since we agree… Can I stop talking now and we go back to the kissing?" he asked with a grin.

Bucky's answering laugh was low and warm as he reached over to curl his hand around Steve's neck. "I should make you talk," he teased. But, instead, he pressed his lips to Steve's. They'd have time to talk later.

"You've never been the one to pick talking over kissing," Steve answered as he pulled back. Despite his request, he found it hard not to talk. This was new territory for Steve and he didn't want to get it wrong. It was too important not just to him, but to Bucky and possibly to those five children who were struggling to find an identity.

"True. But, I've never seen you at a loss for words unless a pretty dame was involved, either." Bucky kept his hand around Steve's neck, thumb brushing along the short hairs at the nape. "It's just me, Steve. You don't have any reason to be nervous with me. No timetables or agendas. Just...me."

"That's why I am nervous. You're my best friend, my family and the father of my children… which is strange to say, but- People sort of do this in the reverse order." Steve scooted closer, his hand resting on Bucky's thigh while he stared at his friend. "We've spent our lives together, but being a couple is different than being friends, even best friends and we have five children that are going to be watching us like hawks. They are going to know if we aren't in synch for whatever reason. They were trained for that, and-"

Steve kissed him gently again. "And it's not just for them. I don't want to rush into anything just because we do have the kids. I love you, and I want to be with you. Call me old fashioned, but I want to take my time. Kissing, touching, it's all fine. We've even slept in the same bed plenty of time, but I don't want to have sex just because it's the inevitable outcome. I want to wait until our minds aren't on those kids. Until it feels right. Does that make sense to you?"

Bucky laughed softly, a warm fond sound. "It makes sense. I also expected as much."

He ran his fingertips gently along Steve's jaw. "I've known I was in love with you for more than eighty years, Steve. Known _you_ even longer. I know you're not the jump in and start fucking type. That was always me, trying to ignore the truth of what I wanted. But, you were looking for that right partner. I remember that exchange. Not gonna lie. I want you, Steve. Always have. But, I've waited this long for something I never thought had a chance in hell of happening. I can wait a little longer for you to be sure."

Steve's smile radiated joy and relief. "I am sure, though. That's not it. I wouldn't have kissed you if I wasn't. But I want to do right by you. As you said, you were the one to jump in and then your world was turned upside down. Let's do this slow. Let's enjoy each step, because we have a long life ahead of us and you're it for me. Let me show you how different, how special, it is when it's more than a good time with the random woman of the day. Let me show you how special you are."

He took Bucky's hand in his and kissed his palm. "You deserve this, Bucky. You deserve every good memory we can create together. That's why I want time, not because I'm not sure."

"I don't know about deserve, but I'll take it." Pressing his forehead to Steve's, Bucky smirked. "You're stuck with me 'til the end of the line, punk. Got one condition, though. Stay here tonight. Just to sleep. I miss waking up to you."

Steve got under the cover and put his arm around Bucky, who didn't hesitate in curling contentedly into the embrace. "I had no intention of leaving. No one is ever going to break us apart again. Now let's get some sleep. Tomorrow we have another long day with five kids who are very confused. Night, Buck."

* * *

Steve was sitting at the kitchen table looking at his phone. He didn't even look up when he heard Bucky come in. "Got an email from Tony. They got the names and info about the other five," he said softly. "Jack Rollins, 41. What it doesn't say is that he was part of my strike team. He tried to kill me a few times. Aleksey Golov aka Alex Green, 37. He works for the Federal Security Service of the Russian Federation and is currently working undercover as a professor at Berkeley. Elizabeth Meyer, 32. She's a CIA field agent and currently in Afghanistan. Thomas Ross, 27. He's NSA, an intelligence officer living in DC. Mark Wagner, 24. He's an ICE agent and working out of Federal Plaza. These aren't people we can just bring here and give popcorn."

Three days had passed from that night and slowly they were showing all five children that there was more to life than Hydra and violence. They still got the look of surprise and mistrust, but three days was very little time. Steve was confident that they would be able to help them, but the rest required a different approached.

Bucky placed his hands on Steve's shoulders and pressed a kiss to the top of his head -- smiling softly, despite the conversation, because this was something he could do now -- before leaning over to look at the phone. It looked like that worm had been useful. "No, these are people we can't do anything more than tell the truth and pray they take the way out we can offer them. If the one was on your strike team, that means he's one of the ones who worked with me directly at the bridge when I came after you and Natasha. Is there a photo?"

Steve looked up and smiled for a moment, but it was short-lived. "It's not that simple. We can't leave Hydra agents in those agencies, not indefinitely. We can't get to Elizabeth, but we can find Thomas and Alex. Jack… he's been on the run since last April." He found the right picture and then gave Bucky the phone. "I think we need to concentrate on the kids first and then we bring the rest in one by one. Our children or not, they face jail if they don't change their ways. There's no other way."

"We knew this wasn't going to be easy." Bucky stared at the photo, recognition vague, but painful. When he handed the phone back to Steve, he nodded slowly. "We go back to the beginning, focus on helping the five we have so far while we gather intel on the others. We know who they are. We can keep an eye on them. If we need to extract them sooner for some reason, we do it. But, we'll need a better game plan than we had with these five. I don't know what the others know or have been through. But, that one has seen the machine. He was there when Pierce ordered the last wipe. It might make him more open to the idea of us as his parents...or less."

"He's older than we are." Steve got up and put the phone in his back pocket and stood up. Turning around, he stared for a moment, before leaning in and pressing their foreheads together. "Let's get the young ones settled, then. We need the time as well." He didn't know how much time, but they would get there. They would build their family and one day, all of them would be together.


End file.
